Trying to Show Up Authentically, When It Feels So Cringe
11.10 Weekly Drop ✨
Here’s what you’ll find in today’s mix of magic + musings: Next week’s Energetic ⚡️ Color of the Day, 🌕 Update + 🪄 a spell to help alchemize all that energy. Followed by 💁♀️ a personal update from me, 🔮 Oracle Insights from the heavens, & 💕2 things I’m loving right now.
⚡️ Energetic Color of the Day:
Each day carries its own frequency and colors act like amplifiers for that energy. Wearing, carrying, or surrounding yourself with the day’s color helps you align more fully with its vibe. Think of it as dressing in sync with the universe!
Week of November 10th Energy Update:
🌟 The overall energy of next week wants you to stop chasing external validation and start tending to your own inner world. Strengthen your foundation for growth. Pause and process. Go inward to find truth.
♋️ Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, stations retrograde in cancer on the 11th, where it will stay for the next 4 months. With Jupiter retrograde we’re encouraged to find growth and wisdom within ourselves. Since Cancer is the sign of home and feelings, this is the perfect time to take stock of where you feel safe and your soul feels nourished.
Revisit negative emotions that make you feel invisible or unstable, because true expansion comes from healing your relationship with your internal home. Focus on expanding your capacity for compassion, emotional security, and most of all faith in self.
♏️ The Sun is still in Scorpio and maintaining a powerful focus on growth, intimacy, and (energetic + financial) debts. Now that Jupiter’s entered the picture, turn your focus towards emotional honesty. Scorpio is all about transformation, power, and rejecting the superficial. The Sun represents your core identify, ego, and purpose so when it’s transiting a sign, it illuminates those themes.
From now until the 21st the Universe demands you stop operating on autopilot and face the truth of who you are, to intentionally transform your life. It’s a great time to lean into deep conversations with kindness. The best way to strengthen an intimate bond is through vulnerability.
♐️ Mercury is now in the adventurous Sagittarius, which gives you the energy to plan your next great adventure or find deeper meaning behind current challenges. Mercury is the planet of communication, learning, and logic and Sagittarius is the great seeker of truth and experience, philosophy, and optimism.
This is the perfect time to journal, put energy towards something you’ve always wanted to learn, or have deep conversations around the truth, the future, and all the possibilities in between. Save the dram and let optimism be your guide!
💫This is the best time to lean into your authentic self and forget ideas of unattainable hopes of perfection. Do what makes you feel good and unapologetically protect your good energy at all costs. Remember, retrograde wants us to turn in, not out.
🪄 Alchemize the Energy: Returning Home Blessing Spell
Stand, setting your feet, slightly apart, firmly but softly upon our Mother Earth.
Place your hands over your heart and feel it beating.
Breathe and feel life flow through you.
Feel your heart grow larger.
Open out your arms.
Feel your heart opening to Creation.
Feel the heart of Creation opening to you.
Listen to the song of Creation being sung all around you.
Bring your hands to your heart and receive this blessing spell. Then say:
May Spirit and World be One with me. May my heart be open to the Life that welcomes me into its heart. May the magic of love flow into me, and through me into the world. May my life be blessed, and may the Life of the world be blessed by me. So not it be.
Your spell has been cast. Your circle is open, but never broken.1
💁♀️ Personal Update:
Every week I get homework from my business coach Tish. This week she posed a question around how I’d show up online if everyone watching were to meet me IRL. And my response, well here… you read it:
Ya know what it is though… they’re not. I don’t show up online like I do in person. I enchant people when I’m around them. I know I do this, not from a place of ego, but because people tell me. That’s why I struggle with the internet. IMO my energy doesn’t always translate. When I’m in person, I’m a straight shooter. I respond without thinking and I’m clever and I’m feeding off the other person’s energy.
I don’t think my tone or humor actually translates in videos. Or if it’s even if they’re being received well. I don’t know if I have the capacity to light people up at this stage in my journey through a phone. It feels disheartening sometimes. Like I’m faking or forcing. Sometimes it just feels soooo inauthentic, no matter how authentic I try to be.
AND THEN I immediately deleted it. No one can really teach you how to show up online. I feel like you’ve either got it or you don’t. Sure there’s plenty of guidance and advice available. I’m sure right now you could find hundreds of videos teaching you the ‘secret to going viral’. But you can’t teach rizz. It’s a thing you have to figure out from the inside, which means the real work has to be done within.
slang : romantic appeal or charm
Some people produce content and record videos all day long. But me, well I am not very confident. I didn’t grow up in a household full of praise. There was more focus on what was going wrong or needed to be done, as opposed to fawning and accilations. More of a “if you’re going to the store aren’t you going to put some rouge on?” or “Did you even brush your hair today?” kind of household.
As a teen and young adult I was always rushing through every single activity, constantly forgetting things, while trying my hardest to get it together. I was too loud, too messy, too unfocused on the task at hand, talking too fast, acting too rough, sleeping too late, and let’s not even get started on my grades. I was a little tornado, who would much rather be socializing then worrying about being a proper lady. I had no interest in being perfect or proper. I just wanted to be me.
It never occured to me that people wouldn’t like me. I remember being told that I needed to “stop being bossy otherwise people aren’t going to like you” or “no one’s going to want to be friends with a xyz person”. But to my confusion, I was always surrounded by a lot of friends. I remember being a flower girl in a wedding and actively handing out signatures to everyone, because I thought I thought I was the star of the show. But that confidence didn’t stay for long. It’s amazing how quickly we can lose part of our sparkle due to our environment. When I entered the awkward preteen age, well, that’s when everything fell apart.
I was one of the first girls in my grade to not only get her period, but also develop some big ass titties. Suddenly I had body hair and body odor at the age of 10 or 11. And to top it off, I gained a bunch of weight. I hated my body and even worse, that’s when I start hating myself. My parents tried for years to bribe me into losing weight. “You need to lose some weight. Don’t you want to get a boyfriend one day?!” or “Hey, tubby!” and “If you lose weight we’ll buy you a car”.
tub·by | /ˈtəbē/ | adjective
informal : (of a person) short and rather fat.
A good friend of mine in high school used to marvel at the things my parents would say. As a fat girl, it wasn’t always easy to find the most flattering outfits, especially back then. The styles I wanted to wear didn’t always fit me. My friend couldn’t believe the critical eye I was constantly under.
It eventually turned into a game where we’d go to her house and she’d put the most ridiculous outfit she could come up with on, walk by her parents and say, “Okay, I’m going out.” And they would look her up and down with gentle supportive comments like, “oh that’s a lot of colors” or “Interesting choice of patterns. Have a good time.” Then we’d go to my house where I would put on a ‘normal’ outfit just to see what type of reaction it would elicit. We were always surprised when a compliment was delivered.
Now that I’m a solopreneur, who needs to market herself and her business, it’s fucking scary. I’m supposed to put my face AND BODY on the internet and show off my magnetism?! I’d rather take a long walk off a short pier. It’s terrifying for me. I’ve heard so much criticism in my life from people I love and people who love me, that I don’t know if I’m prepared for feedback from absolute strangers or [gasp] all the people I’ve grown up with on instagram.
Now maybe you’re think I’m overreacting. AND maybe I am overreacting. But it makes me uncomfortable every single day. And every day I keep showing up. Everyday I continue to do the things that are scary, because I know my story and my message is important. I hear from people IRL, all the time, on how I’ve inspired them to change, grow, and love themselves.
It’s a story of extreme resiliency. Of inner power. Of overcoming and beating all the odds. One where, alone, the girl bets on herself and she wins! She somehow, through the power of her own will, ends up on top. And she’s very, very happy.
re·sil·ience | /rəˈzilēən(t)s/ | noun
the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
In another dimension I’m definitely a strung out drug addict. I always joke about this with my oldest friends. Fun fact: I wanted to be a drug and alcohol counselor because I felt like I could connect to the pain of that community. I was utterly obsessed with the underbelly of society, because we all shared something similar. We had things we didn’t dare talk about and secrets we had to keep.
It’s hard to admit sometimes, but I’ve had a pretty traumatic life. Most people don’t even know a portion of story. But that’s by design. My story doesn’t define me. It’s just a collection of terrible things that happened to have occured in my life. I’m the one that defines my story, my outcome. And if I can do it, there’s hope for everyone else. That’s the whole point of the work I do — to help people heal when all hope is seemingly lost.
So it’s ironic that I’m sitting here now, terrified to post videos to instagram on Energy Healing. My nervous system is screaming, Don’t do it. Stay small. Stay safe. What if we backslide? You’ve worked so hard to find love for self. Don’t invite people in, they can be harsh and cruel, and you’ve worked so hard to get here! Low key, I’d rather post a nude. But then again, here I am spilling my little big heart out. I guess it can’t get any more authentic than this.
P.S. Do me a favor: today, say something nice to someone you think might not get complimented very often. Bring a little light into their lives, for no other reason than to make them feel good 🤍
🔮 Oracle Insights:
What your soul wants you to know: The Earth has a rhythm you can see in the tides and the seasons, yet modern life pulls us out of sync. This card is a reminder to slow down, reconnect with nature, and surrender to the pulse of the Mother. Somewhere along the way, many of us severed our bond with the land, looking to others for belonging instead. But the Earth still waits, ready to receive you, hold you, and remind you that you belong. When you connect, stagnant energy falls away and you remember you’re woven into all of life.
The action you’re being guided to take: Earth moves in seasons, and so do you. You’re not meant to be in full bloom all the time. This is your reminder to slow down, rest, and refuel. Your body is sacred—it’s the only one you get. Honor it by putting your well-being first. Even when life feels urgent, pause before burnout sets in. Constant motion isn’t sustainable. When we ignore our natural rhythms, our bodies eventually make us stop. So, how are you being called to rest, restore, and rejuvenate? When was the last time you took a true day off, or let yourself fully unwind? Give yourself permission to recover. There’s enough time. Life bends when you do.
💕 What I’m loving right now:
Book: Happy Pocket Full of Money by David Cameron Gikandi
Beauty: The elite, BEST of the BEST Mason Pearson Hairbrush (Last hairbrush you’ll ever buy. Take it from someone who has great hair - this investment is worth it!)
“What lies before us, and what lies behind us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us…” Ralph Waldo Emerson 🤍
✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything
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Phyllis Curott, Spells for Living Well (Hay House, 2022), [257]