The Time I Dated a Married Man.
01.29 Weekly Drop ✨
In today’s mix of magic + musings: Upcoming ⚡️ Energy Update + 🪄 a spell to help alchemize. Followed by 🫶 Client Corner, 💁♀️ Story Time from me, 🔮 Oracle Insights from the heavens, 💕things I’m loving right now.
⚡️ Week of Jan 29th Energy Update:
🌝 On Sun, Feb 1 we have a Full Snow Moon in Leo, which also happens to land on Imbolc (halfway point between winter and spring YAY!). Leo energy is all about confidence and personal power, but because this moon opposes Pluto, it’s also triggering a major ego death.
This full moon will expose areas of your life where you’ve been dimming yourself or seeking external validation. Leo the lion is anything but subtle, so be unapologetically bold. You’re getting a literal cosmic permission slip to release trauma bonds and step into your authentic self!
What areas of your life have you been playing small to make others feel comfortable? It’s time to call your energy back, trust your heart, and SHINE BABY!
🪞 on Mon, Feb 2 we have a 2-2 Mirror Energy Portal! Think of portal dates as amplifiers. This one specifically has themes around balance, duality, partnership, and divine feminine energy.
This energy is urging you to embody what you already know in your heart. It’s like aligning your inner and outer worlds.
☄️ Uranus, the cosmic disruptor, stations direct on Tue, Feb 3. If you’ve been stuck in a rut, Tuesday is your day to break free and bet on yourself.
Take the risk. Trust your instincts. Express yourself. REBEL.
💫 If you’ve been waiting for the perfect time to start a project, well now’s the time! There’s a rare blend of Aquarius innovation and Capricorn/Taurus stability this week giving you the green light and a boost of momentum.
🪄 Alchemize the Energy: Make Full Moon Spray for Clarity
Spray Bottle
4 oz of Full Moon Water
25 drops of Jasmine absolute essential oil
50 drops of lemon essential oil
A couple drops of frankincense essential oil
1 tsp of a rose tincture or rosewater
First things first, you have to make your moon water on Sun, Feb 1. Simply fill your bottle with distilled water and leave it outside in the moonlight overnight. The water will absorb the energy of the moon along with it’s spiritual properties.
Why distilled? Because it’s been boiled, which remove impurities and bacteria that could introduce mold or harmful contaminants into your potion. You could also just boil water first (which is what I do).
Add the remaining ingredients the following morning. Since this is a Snow Moon, you could take it a step further and add a bit of snow (if available). Allow the formula to synergize for at least one day, then shake well before each use and spray is desired. The spray will help we stay fresh for up to one year, just make sure to keep it out of direct sunlight while storing.1
🫶 Client Corner
“I’ve been a client of Christina’s for approx 3 years. My initial goal was to move past some blocks I had around money, success, and self sabotage.
In terms of the tangibility, I literally 3xed my income over this time. LITERALLY 300%.
The unexpected benefits were equally amazing. It drastically improved my relationships with my family members. Whatever blocks I had were also causing me to keep everyone, including my loved ones, at arm’s length.
I’ve got a deeper understanding of myself and consider Christina a secret weapon to my success.
Highly recommend. 100000% worth it.”
“Do one thing every day that scares you.” - Eleanor Roosevelt 🤍
💁♀️ Story Time:
In the wake of my last breakup, I became a shell of a person, crying for days on end. I think I cried every day for at least the first six months after I’d FINALLY broken it off. The relationship itself was extremely toxic—toxic to the point where I got lost in who I was and what I stood for. I never thought of myself as a person who could be so aggressively manipulated into losing themselves due to the demands and insecurities of another person. But somehow… I did.
ma·nip·u·late | /məˈnipyəˌlāt/ | verb
1. handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner.
2. control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.
I’d also found out I was unexpectedly pregnant. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster. One month post-breakup, I had a miscarriage, which was absolutely devastating. Not because I wanted to have his baby, but because maybe I did want to be a mom. Amidst all of this madness I was hit with the crushing realization that this might have been my last chance.
To say I was a wreck is an understatement. I felt like a burden to my friends and family because I COULD NOT stop crying. I knew everyone hated him, so the last thing I wanted to do was talk to anyone about my pain and heartache.
In the final months of our relationship, he’d found a way to not only push all my friends away, but his too. He was nothing short of combative and argumentative, 85% of the time, picking fights with anyone in his way. Like the rude stewardess on a United Polaris flight, which resulted in me crying the entire way home.
He kept pushing that partition button down so he could berate me for getting upset that he’d yelled at a woman who was rude to me, even after I pleaded with him not to. But he was feeling himself that day, walking around like a tough guy in a cool outfit. He’d had a bunch of drinks at the club prior, which is why I pleaded with him. I knew he was a loose cannon and it wouldn’t take much to set him off. He wanted the interaction to happen, so he promptly ignored me and called this woman out, while tears of frustration, embarrassment, and helplessness washed down my face.
be·rate | /bəˈrāt/ | verb
The woman was in the wrong and immediately apologized to him. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she made eye contact with me. She realized what she’d done and that the only person who would truly suffer the consequences of her actions, was me. I wish I could say this was the first time someone had looked at me like this, with such shock and pity.
In what I can only guess is an act of self-preservation, he started creating divides between me and the people closest to me. He’d get into my head about their behavior and the ways they treated me, pushing his fears and paranoia onto me. He made antagonistic comments that challenged my loyalty to him and our relationship. He’d completely burned out my flame. There was no spark left.
par·a·noi·a | /ˌperəˈnoiə/ | noun
1. unjustified suspicion and mistrust of other people or their actions.
2. the unwarranted or delusional belief that one is being persecuted, harassed, or betrayed by others, occurring as part of a mental condition.
So I isolated. I would go out here and there, compartmentalizing, pretending everything was fine, but as soon as I left the waterworks would start up again. I didn’t think it was fair to cry to the people who had been urging me to leave him. Surely they were tired of hearing me cry. I know I was. But I realize now, those tears weren’t about the breakup—they were the result of the trauma of living with an aggressive, roid-raged, drug addict.
At the end of that relationship I was a shell of a human. I was never not walking around on pins and needles, afraid to say or do anything wrong because I just knew the repercussions wouldn’t be worth it. All he wanted was to control me. He wanted to keep me and my light for his own, like a precious doll you put on a shelf that no one else can touch or play with.
I always thought I was stronger than this. I never thought I would be someone who ended up in a relationship that was so emotionally abusive. One where I would rather keep the peace than have to muster up the strength and courage to go through an aggressive, arduous, breakup.
But thankfully I’m (duh.) smarter than him. And I’ve got hella street smarts, which he continued to discredited me for. He thought he could outsmart me.
hell·a | /ˈhelə/ | adverb
1. extremely (used for emphasis).
2. a large amount or number of.
I truly think this guy thought he could live a cocaine cowboy lifestyle. And to his credit, for a time he did, and we did. The fucked-up part is that the first 6-8 months were absolutely magical. It was my dream relationship, because in the beginning we had so much fun together. And that contributed to why I was grieving so hard post-breakup. I couldn’t wrap my head around how something could go from perfect to shit so quickly.
But our relationship was based on a lie. I was under the impression he was going through a divorce, and a very difficult one at that. He’d also started coming down with various (ahem, self-imposed) health ailments. As someone who’s lived through cancer, I didn’t want to be the asshole who leaves her dying boyfriend just because he’s a douchebag.
di·vorce | /dəˈvôrs/ | noun
the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.
legally dissolve one’s marriage with (someone).
Thank God I wasn’t completely broken. Thank God I’m more of a gangster than this guy, because one thing about me: I don’t lie, and when you don’t lie, you can’t get caught up in shit that isn’t true.
Even when I don’t want to be, I can’t help but be anything other than authentic. After living on the other side of trying too hard and faking it, I don’t have the strength to ever do it again. I know it’s why opportunities find me, people like me, and I’m afforded certain luxuries in life. But I don’t think I’m that special. I think everyone can live in the same beautiful bubble of authenticity—it’s just a matter of understanding where you’re putting your focus.
If you continue to put your focus externally on other people, you’ll never live the life you want to live. I realized I’d been doing exactly that— pouring every last drop of my energy into another person and I completely lost myself.
That’s when I learned one of the most valuable lessons I’d never been taught. When someone truly loves you, they’ll want nothing more than for you to pour back into yourself!2
🔮 Oracle Insights:
What your soul wants you to know: The Courageous Peony
Flowers don't open or close based on who walks by; they simply own their true nature without competition or apology. You are being called to do the same—to stop hiding behind the bushes and finally let your multifaceted soul be seen. While it may feel uncomfortable at first to grow tall and share your authentic voice, the Courageous Peony reminds you that embodying your full light is safe. As you stop playing small, you naturally draw in the people and experiences meant for you, trusting that your uniqueness is your greatest gift.
The action you’re being guided to take: Empathic Starseed
Empathic Starseeds shift the world simply by being here, yet your high sensitivity can make earthly life feel overwhelming. If you’re feeling the pressure to "do" or transmute for others, take this as your sign to lighten the energetic load and treat yourself like a precious baby. It is enough to simply be present in your own life; you are allowed to put on the brakes and keep your energy for yourself. Prioritizing your own healing isn't selfish—it’s necessary to sustain your presence and grow without burning out.
💕 What I’m loving right now:
Biohacking Secret: Baja Gold Mineral Sea Salt add it to your water!
My Meditation (also available on youtubeeee): Chakra Alignment Healing Meditation | Balance Your Energy Centers
✨ Enrollment is NOW open → Fall Back in Love With Yourself 4 Week Program
✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything
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Lorraine Anderson, The Moon Apothecary: Rituals and Recipes for the Lunar Phases (New South Wales: Rockpool Publishing, 2024), 27, 131.
Fuck you Dave.
Proud of you for pulling yourself out of that and feeling ready to share your story to help others who may be going through something similar. Sending you a lots of love ❤️
My ex tried to turn me against my friends and family too! So glad we got away from those relationships and also that we found each other you beautiful bad bitch.