Settling for Scraps: A Story About Self-Worth + 8/8 Lion's Gate Spell
08.06 Weekly Drop ✨
Curious what energy healing could shift for you? Book a free consult today!
In today’s mix of magic + musings: 🪄 a spell to help manifest for the 8/8 Lion’s Gate Portal. Followed by 💁♀️ Storytime + 💕 things I’m loving right now.
🪄 Alchemize: 8/8 Lion’s Gate Manifestation Grid
We have a very veryyy powerful manifestation window coming up on Saturday known as the 8/8 Lion’s Gate Portal. This is seen as the most powerful numerology portal of the year as Sirius aligns with Earth for abundance and spiritual activation. Here’s a very special spell I did last year, which has brought so much abundance into my life 🤍
You’ll need:
Pen + paper
Crystal wand or conductor (mine is made of selenite)
Crystals for the grid (4 protector crystals, a generator with flat bottom, + a minimum of 12 ‘working’ crystals)
$1000, $1200, or $1004 (in all 100s or 100s and 2, $2 bills)
Candle + something to etch into the candle (I use a feather)
Herbs + oils (for the candle)
Suggestions:
CRYSTALS
Generator: clear quartz with a flat bottom
Abundance: tibetan quartz, ruby, jade
Protection: black tourmaline, jet, obsidian
Transformation: snowflake obsidian, malachite, moldavite
Life Force: ruby zoisite, carnelian, garnet
Amplification: prehnite with epidote, rutilated quartz, clear quartz
Manifestation: labradorite, pyrite, citrine
Transmute Energy: smokey quartz, amethyst, ametrine
Luck: green aventurine, merlinite, tiger’s eye
Joy: dalmation jasper, sunstone, chrysoprase
CANDLE COLOR CORRESPONDENCE
White: purity, spiritual truth, cleansing (substitute for any other color)
Black: absorb negative energy, protection, banish, break hexes
Red: vital life force, physical passion, courage, lust, immediate action
Orange: creative inspiration, personal success, ambition, stimulation
Yellow: mental clarity, intellect, confidence, learning, joy
Green: physical health, financial wealth, fertility, abundance, luck
Blue: emotional healing, peace, patience, communication, forgiveness
Purple: psychic abilities, wisdom, spiritual power, higher consciousness
Pink: unconditional love, friendship, emotional healing, romance, harmony
Brown: ground scattered energy, home protection, stability, legal matters
HERBS
Protect + Cleanse
Rosemary: purify, ward off negative energy, support mental clarity
Thyme: banish negativity, build courage, attract stability
Garlic: repel ill intent or unwanted spiritual residue
Black Pepper: absorb stagnant energy + remove negative influences
Abundance
Cinnamon: accelerate manifestation, financial luck, success.
Basil: steady wealth, attract peace
Mint: invigorate energy, stimulate a fresh flow of prosperity
Clove: attract luck, raise vibrations, silence gossip
Intentions
Bay Leaves: focus intentions, protect wishes, heightened intuition
Ginger: personal power, fuel vitality
Oregano: joy, emotional comfort, general well-being
Red Pepper: to speed things up
OILS
Peace, Intuition, + Sleep
Lavender: tranquility, healing, inner peace, spiritual communication
Frankincense: meditation, clear mental fog, reveal truth, high vibration
Clary Sage: intuition, dreams, clarity, calm an overactive mind
Energy, Motivation, + Happiness
Sweet Orange: elevate mood, joy, magnetism, welcome positive shifts
Peppermint: clarity, consciousness, break through heavy blocks
Ground, Protect, + Clear
Tea Tree: energetic boundaries, resilience, remove negative influences
Eucalyptus: clear stagnant energy, emotional renewal, protect a space
Patchouli: ground, manifestations, draw steady financial prosperity
Instructions:
Gather Supplies: This spell takes a bit of prep work. Head to the bank for cash (if you don’t have it onhand). I used 10-$100 and 2-$2 bills in my spell. Choose a candle, crystals, herbs, and oils that support your intention, then make a list of why you choose each. I highly suggest writing everything down to keep you organized and focused.
i.e. Rhodonite to reach my full potential, focus on my gifts, and to push my energy outward for the betterment of all.
Get in the Mood: Put on some high frequency music, settle into your heart, and set your intention. Then cleanse your space, tools and self (with whatever method you prefer)
Meditate + Journal: Take some time to journal out your goals. What is it you want to accomplish? Get specific and be intentional to remove any limitations you may be putting on yourself. This is spellwork. You don’t have to figure out details, you’re just focused on the end goal or result.
Create a Sigil: Once finished, write a clear positive statement of intent that encapsulates everything you’ve journaled. This should be a sentence long. Now remove all the vowels (Y stays) and repeating consonants.
Ex: To step into my Divine Feminine power = T S P N M Y D V F M P W R
With the remaining consonants, create a symbol. Take your time here and get creative. Feel the feeling of already having what you want as you work on your design. Once finished recreate on a fresh piece of paper and place under the center stone of your crystal grid.
Prep Your Candle: Carve your full name, birthday, sigil, and goal into the candle. Then anoint with any oils or herbs that support your spell. Whisper the intentions for each as you anoint your candle:
Ex: Thank you clove for helping to attract good luck into my [intention]
Make sure to hold the base of your candle with one hand and carve/anoint/run from bottom to top to attract and top to bottom to banish. Then place to the side.
Assemble Your Crystal Grid: Find an undisturbed spot in your home where your grid will be out of the way, as you will leave it up until the spell comes to fruition. Starting with the sigil, feel the energy of your design and intention radiating from the paper, then place it in the center of your grid. Imagine a clock around the sigil, then—with your intuition—place each of the bills down at each hour. I choose to put $2 bills at 12 and 6 o’clock. Do whatever feels right for you. Now place each ‘working’ crystal over a bill. Jot down the number placement in your notes.
Burn Baby Burn: Place your candle in the center of your grid, over the sigil. As it burns imagine the smoke carrying all your intentions up to the Universe. This will take around 45 minutes. Be patient with yourself and try to stay in the energy of feeling your goal coming to life. If you’re struggling, imagine a 30 second clip of how you would feel after receiving your intention. Bring all of your senses into this 30 second clip, playing it over and over in your mind, making it as real as possible.
Anchor: After the candle has burned down, remove and place the generator crystal in the middle over the sigil as the anchor point. Place the protector crystals at each corner of your grid (imagine a square over your clock/circle). If you have any sound instruments, now is the time to play them. Imagine the sound bringing you further into alignment with your desires, while staying focused on your intentions.
Activate: With your wand, tap the center/generator crystal, then tap the ‘working’ crystal at the 12 o’clock position, and then the generator crystal again. That’s 3 taps: in, out, in. You’ll then finish the 3 taps with a statement of intention:
Ex: Thank you for bringing abundance into my life. I choose you jade to help call abundance into my career so I can earn $350k this year.
You’re energetically tying all these crystals together into the grid. You’ll continue to do this with each one, working your way in the clockwise motion around the grid, until are are tied up. Think of closing in the energy of the grid as you make your way back to 12 o’clock.
Closing. After you finish with 11 o’clock, the grid is complete. Once it’s closed be sure not to touch our disturb it, until the spell comes to fruition. You may choose to play your sound instrument now 13 times (to be exact) with the intention of blessing your spell. Show gratitude for yourself and the conviction in your abilities to cast such a powerful spell!
Note: As you can see in my example, I choose to include additional supporting crystals. Add as many as you like, just continue around the ‘clock’ methodically if you choose to add more. Also, if they have points, make sure the crystals are pointed inward, toward the center crystal.
💁♀️ Story Time:
When you grown up with little to no self-esteem you basically let people treat you however they want. As you can imagine, this wasn’t always the best, especially when it came to men I was interested in. Those men were a bunch of losers. I tolerated treatment that was far below what I deserved and I allowed them to treat me like absolute dog shit.
Hungry for any attention or affection I could get, I always liked the guys who showed interest in ME. If they were into me, then I was into them. This includes, but is not limited to guys: on house arrest, who had been to prison, looked like they were going to prison, drug dealers, vagrants, “artists“, musicians, bootleggers, big shots, and degenerates. Ya know, riff raff.
riff raff | ˈrif-ˌraf’ | noun
a disapproving term for people who are seen as disreputable, worthless, or of a low social class. It often refers to a crowd or group of unwanted individuals.
Like the Music Producer who pretended to be a somebody, but was really he’s just mixing free tracks downloaded off limewire in his parent’s basement. The Hardass who pretended to have money, but was broke and lazy driving around in his mom’s car acting like it was his own. Oh and the Roadie who moved with an air of importance even though he was working for free with a very shitty punk band.
Let’s not forget the vast majority who overly sexualized me. I started developing into a women around the age of 11, making me susceptible to comments and the eyes of men and boys alike from a very young age. My breasts forced me into adulthood far earlier than I was ready for it. My mother, being far more conservative than I, tried to keep me covered up and in a childlike state for as long as possible, but tween clothes—especially back in the mid ‘90s—were not made for C cups.
It was around this time I had my first sexual experience, and not because I wanted it. This unfortunate event would change the trajectory of my entire life. Already uncomfortable in my own skin, I now harbored all the pain and grief that experience brought onto my family.
Even though I’d been told over and over I’d done nothing wrong, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all my fault. My poor parents weren’t mentally prepared to deal with such a tragedy. Because… who really is? Plus, they had their own emotions to process and were doing their best to navigate this unknown territory of parenthood noone should ever be be thrust into.
It wasn’t until years later I awoke to the true perspective of it all. Parents are human, doing the best they can with the tools they’ve been given. Sometimes they lack the emotional capacity to show up for us in the ways we need it. Perhaps they lack the awareness of another way or simply don’t have the capacity to offer what is truly needed.
For me, this misalignment led to deep misunderstandings and a constant yearning for more love. I felt an unexplainable emptiness and from that point forward, I felt branded with a scarlet letter for all to see.
That’s exactly when I started gaining weight. Also known as fat or body armor, I was subconsciously gaining weight as a means for protection. I didn’t know how to properly process everything I was feeling, so I turned to food for comfort. My nervous system was also an absolute wreck, as the trauma kept my body in a constant state of unmanageable stress. I was eating my feeling to create physical protection in the form of fat (around the belly), to shield myself against the unwanted attention from men.
Ironically though, I still craved the attention of men. Talk about a mind fuck.
I felt unlovable, carrying myself like damaged goods. I couldn’t imagine how anyone would ever want someone like me, in such a fragile state, so I settled for whatever scraps of affection I could get. I was trapped in a cycle of constantly trying to prove my worth to those who were entirely unworthy. Showing up emotionally and physically to men who disregarded me, in the hopes that one of them would eventually see my true value.
Looking back, I felt as though I gained 50 lbs overnight. My weight was now a constant reminder of the trauma my body had endured. In the midst of ‘90s diet culture, my mom tried to help me regulate my extreme weight gain through methods likes of weight watchers, slim fast, and lean cuisines. When you pair that with my father’s idea of motivation-which was rooted in calling me cruel nicknames like '“tubby”—you can imagine what that did to my already fragile self-esteem.
Being a highly emotional child, their attempts at coercing me into change further reinforced my deep sense of unworthiness. By the time I entered high school I was blindly operating in a survival mode of people pleasing, over functioning, and avoiding conflict at all costs. Boundaries simply didn’t exist due to the paralyzing fear of losing people or stirring the pot. I began choosing deception over reality. Constantly feeling compelled to inflate the truth in hopes these fabrications would make protect me, while simultaneously proving my value to the world.
It’s so fucked up to reflect on now. I literally didn’t know I could have boundaries. It wasn’t even a possibility in my orbit. So of course I let guys treat me like shit. I put up with bad behavior that looked like broken promises, lies, and manipulation. A guy could blow me off for a date then text me at 11 PM and I’d be available. I once went out with a guy who’d hit on two my friends first, then turned to me after they’d turned him down.
I wish I could take 17 year old Christina by the shoulders and shake her, But that’s not what she needed. She needed love, compassion, understanding, and grace. She needed permission to make mistakes and the freedom to use her voice. She needed ME to show up and love her unconditionally.
I’m so proud of my evolution and I have healing to thank. That’s why I vulnerably share these stories. I want others to see what’s achievable when you finally connect in, love yourself fully, and get out of your own way. That’s also why I started my business, Heal Everything, because with healing I know anything and everything is possible!
If this resonated, tap the ❤️ below so more people can find this message.
💕 What I’m loving right now:
Crystals: Sol & Terra Mercantile - Terra Nova Crystals
Throat Spray: Beekeeper's Naturals Propolis Throat Soother Spray
✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!
✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything
✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration