My Life Became a Lifetime Movie: the Night My Married Ex Slept on a Hammock

07.09 Weekly Drop ✨

Jul 09, 2026

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In today’s mix of magic + musings: ⚡️ Energy Update + 🪄 a spell to help alchemize. 💁‍♀️ Storytime from me, 🔮 Oracle Insights from the heavens, 💕 things I’m loving right now

a beautiful slightly blurry photo of a woman walking on the beach during sunset with her hands in the air and the ocean behind her

⚡️ Week of Thurs, July 9th Energy Update:

♍️ Venus Conjunct South Node in Virgo on Fri, July 10th

Be kind to yourself on Friday, because there might be a tendency to over analyze past relationships or even feel hypercritical, of your current one. The energy is more about self-compassion, then trying to fix everything wrong in your love life.

An old flame or past relationship pattern might resurface today, not to cause you more grief, but to illuminate areas where you need to heal and release old relationship patterns.

(Let’s just hope it’s not my ex after he reads the story below. And if you are reading this, GO AWAY!)

🦀 Mercury Cazimi in Cancer on Sun, July 12th

Think of Sunday as an emotional mid-point review for our current Mercury Retrograde. We’ll get a glimpse of clarity which will allow us to understand any confusion around emotional issues or family miscommunications that began around the end of June.

Trust yourself and your intuition!

🌚 New Moon in Cancer on Tue, July 14th

Normally you’d be encouraged to start something new during a New Moon, but seeing as how we’re in the thick of a Mercury retrograde, I’d advise against it. Instead, considering reflecting on areas of your life that need tending, with regards to your home or emotional safety.

It’s a good time to do an emotional boundary audit or put your energy into a home projects that still need to get completed.

Peel and Stick Wallpaper Floral Wallpaper Boho Mushroom Wall Paper Vinyl Mushroom Contact Paper for Bedroom Bathroom

You’ll Need:

A leaf or a piece of bark (don’t forget to thank the tree it came from)
A handful of soil or sand
Small bowl of water

How to Cast:

Close your eyes, settle into your heart, and set your intention Think about any emotional baggage you want to leave behind. Take a deep breath and exhale into the leaf/bark. Imagine your breath carrying any dense energy out of your body and into the plant fibers.
Place the leaf into your bowl of water and sprinkle the soil directly on top of it, burying the leaf underwater. Focus on the feeling of relief and say
“Fed to the waters, held by the clay. Take this old burden and wash it away. The past is now compost, my spirit is free I release this old burden unto thee.”
Dig a small hole and pour the mixture into the earth. Cover it back up with the knowing that nature will alchemize the energy and recycle it into something new.

💁‍♀️ Storytime:

I’ve got a wild story for you today. I went through so many traumatic experiences with my ex (AKA Clown Baby, for all of you that are new) that I honestly blacked out most of them. But every once and a while a little memory creeps in and one resurfaces.

Surprise surprise, we were fighting. How did it start? Who really knows, but I’m 90% sure it had to do with the status of his divorce. He strung me along, leading me to believe he was in the process of going through a divorce for the entire duration of our relationship. Every so often I would ask how things were going and if there was an update. I hated the fact that I was dating someone who was still legally bound to another person for fear of the inevitable karma that would one day come back and bite me in the ass.

This relationship wasn’t my first rodeo with an overly emotional, hot tempered man. As a Greek/Italian, I’d spent a lot of time around men who didn’t know how to properly process their feeling. While I don’t condone such bad behavior, I also don’t blame them. Culturally, they have never been given permission to properly express their feelings. For the men in my life, crying or even showing the slightest hint of weakness was not an option. Instead you had to be tough, manly, and damn proud of it.

weak | /wēk/ adjective
Primarily describes a deficiency in strength, power, or vigor. It generally indicates that an object, person, or concept lacks the necessary force to withstand strain, pressure, or a challenge. (ironic huh)

This is the kind of man who doesn’t get novocaine at the dentist. Aka my dad The Greek. Under no circumstances would you ever want to tell him to relax, chill, or cool it. That is unless you wanted to see him red faced, smoke basically shooting out of both ears, with fists clamped by his side yelling, “Don’t tell me to relax!" back at you. As an angsty teen, who DGAF I learned that one that hard way.

I preemptively knew I was going to ask for a divorce updated, so I led with caution. Similar to how you would approach a wild animal, slowly without any sudden movements, for fear of scaring or setting him off. The conversation started light. He fed me some bullshit, which I immediately clocked, so I asked a few follow up questions. I needed to dig deeper to find some semblance of truth. He flew off the handle.

me sensing some bullshit meme with a female character who has hands to her head temples tapping into the frequency of a lie

His reaction told me everything I needed to know. Anytime a person has an egregious reaction to something you’ve said, especially if you’ve delivered it in a calm, even keeled tone, RUN. That person is a cowardly liar with no intention on being upfront and honest with you.

Normally, I would start to cry and submissively back down, but not this time. I was tired of games and deceit I couldn’t prove, but knew was there. I declared our relationship over and told him, “I can’t keep doing this. I’m done. I don’t want to be in a relationship with a man who’s married.”

Mind you, we’re at my apartment. The apartment he had basically moved into. So I told him to get TF out and go back to his wife. But he didn’t move. Instead he changed tactics and started working defence. Apologizing, telling me how hard it was for him, and that he was doing his best to get it all figured out.

I saw red. I’d been airing my grievances since the moment I found out. (Oh wait, did I ever tell you that part? I didn’t know he was married until months after he’d already professed his love for me. Fucking loser.) He wasn’t taking me or our relationship serious, and it wasn’t until the final hour, the moment I was actually done done, that he decided he was actually going to do something about it.

fuck·ing los·er | /ˈfʌkɪŋ ˈluːzər/ | noun | vulgar slang
Someone who refuses to take responsibility for their life, constantly blaming external factors, luck, or other people for their problems.

Why are men like this? I know I’m not the only one to experience this. Six months prior to the end of a relationship women will decide they’re ready to exit. Explaining frustrations, giving their partners adequate time to change or make necessary adjustments to improve the relationship, but it isn’t until the last hour when we’ve packed our bags and are one foot out the door that a man will decide to actually make the change or take some initiative. By that point, we’re done and they’re confused.

After hours of screaming at each other, I decided to leave. If he wasn’t going to go then I was. Getting in my car, my plan was to put my phone on DND (my phone was blowing up from the nonstop texts/calls) and park a few blocks away so I could try to sleep. It was 2 AM on school night and I had to work in the morning.

I was so anxious and paranoid, constantly looking out the window to see if he was there, that I couldn’t fall asleep so I snuck back into the building. Instead of going to my apartment, I went to my neighbor’s who was out of town. He’d already given me permission to use his balcony in exchange for watering his plants, so I figured it’d be okay if I crashed on his sofa for a few hours.

a fight with my ex boyfriend Dave where he sends agressive text after text at 2 Am in the morning

My plans were foiled. Somehow Clown Baby knew and used a spare key to come looking for me. By this point I was exhausted and delirious. He couldn’t fathom why I ‘ran away from him’ and so he tried turning the entire situation around on me. How could I do this to him? Didn’t I love him? Why would I scare him like that? Berating me with how difficult all of this was on him?

For once it didn’t work. I snapped. I’m pretty sure my head spun around in a circle à la the Exorcist. That’s when he finally left. In a huff, he slammed his key down and stalked out of the apartment. My head was spinning. I couldn’t believe this was my life. I made sure all the doors were locked and turned off my phone, then crashed into the bed as the adrenele left my body.

Surely he left right? WRONG. Instead of going back to his condo (with his wife) he ended up sleeping on the hammock outside. It must have started to get cold, because 30, maybe 40 minutes later the sounds of Sublime came pumping through my Sonos speakers. Since my phone was off and he couldn’t get a hold of me, he walked around the building until he was able to connect to the wifi speaker then started playing music to get my attention.

Lisa Simpson stressed out in a ball on the floor with piles of cocaine everywhere

My first thought: WTF. My second: this is absolutely absurd. I literally started laughing. It felt like I was in a movie. It was a bad dream I couldn’t wake up from, because this bad dream had become my reality. One I’d become locked into, unable to escape. A reality I’d hid from my friends and family, because on some weird fucked up level I still thought we had a future together.

You see, the first nine months of our relationship was a dream. It was fun, lighthearted, and easy. We had so much in common and genuine enjoyed being around each other all the time. I justified his bad behavior because of the stress of his job, his divorce, etc. I was in a high level of denial. I made excuses because the man I was witnessing, was not the man I’d started dating — this must be a fluke, a bump in the road, a one off situation.

a fight with my ex boyfriend Dave where he sends agressive text after text at 5 am in the morning

At this point it must have been 4 in the morning. I immediately unplugged the wifi and the apartement fell silent. I turned my phone on and told him to stop. What was I supposed to do now? Let him in and continue this outrageous ragefest? If it was me, I would have gone back to my condo or gotten a hotel room for the remainder of the evening, but he didn’t. He stayed on that hammock until he had to go to work, then used that against me for the remainder of our six month on again, off again, shattered relationship.

I wish I’d been strong enough to walk away. I wish I wouldn’t have accepted the three carat diamond earrings as an apology (aka my blood diamonds). I wish I would have had enough self-respect to never answer his call again, but I didn’t. He knew exactly how to guilt and pull at my heartstrings. My favorite: You’re supposed to be a healer and you’re going to give up on me?!

All that matters is I eventually freed myself. I worry about all the woman who find themselves caught in equally humiliating lies and manipulation—it’s the driving force behind sharing my life and my vulnerable stories with you.

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🔮 Oracle Insights:

Starseed oracle deck cards forge, don't follow. pave a new path. be the leader you wish you had. and Big Picture thinking. Pleiades energy. Visionary. Inspired ideas.

You carry a vision that does not yet exist in the world, and that is precisely why it belongs to you. The Pleiadians are naming you a dreamer of the new age, one whose mind runs toward what could be rather than what has been. But a vision held quietly changes nothing. The path you are seeing has no map because you are the one meant to walk it first. Stop waiting for permission, for readiness, for someone ahead of you to point the way. There is no one who shares your exact blend of gifts and history, so no one can lead you into this. Breathe, take the first step, and trust the vision before it becomes real. Forge the path. Others are already waiting to follow the light you leave behind.

💕 What I’m loving right now:

Book: Outsmarting Reality by Nero Knowledge for my 1st Heal Everything BOOK CLUB Event on Tue, Aug 4th where we're talking consciousness, manifestation, frequency, and my personal favorite, the idea that nothing's quite as fixed, or as real, as we were told. Hope you’ll join!