In Defense of My Track Record

04.23 Weekly Drop ✨

Apr 23, 2026

In today’s mix of magic + musings: Upcoming ⚡️ Energy Update + 🪄 a spell to help alchemize. Followed by 🫶 Client Corner, 💁‍♀️ Story Time from me, 🔮 Oracle Insights from the heavens, 💕things I’m loving right now.

⚡️ Week of April 23rd Energy Update:

💥 Venus-Uranus Conjunct in Taurus on Thurs April 23

Venus meets Uranus at the final degree of Taurus (29°, the anaretic degree, aka the "let's burn it down" degree) for the last time in decades. It's a wake-up call disguised as a new beginning, so anything stagnant in your relationships, your values, or your sense of worth is getting shaken loose. It’s important you stay flexible.

Expect the unexpected, which is usually how all the good stuff arrives.

🦋 Venus Enters Gemini on Fri, April 24

The heavy emotional energy of Venus is Taurus is getting an airy upgrade, making things lighter, more flirty, and wayyy more fun.

It’s a great time for conversation, connection and following what you curious, instead of what feels safe.

🌀 Uranus Enters Gemini on Sat, April 25

Uranus leaves Taurus and enters Gemini for the first time in roughly 84 years, where it'll stay until 2032. This is a full-on seven-year shift. Expect big changes in how we communicate, share information, learn, and connect with each other.

The vibe is electric and new, but don't be fooled. There's deep inner work happening underneath, where old power dynamics and patterns will get tested.

💫This is your time to stop managing and start trusting. It’s time to let the Universe surprise you!

🪄 Alchemize the Energy:

I want to make a few amendments to 04.09’s Money Bowl post. If you made a money bowl there are a few things you should know…

Tend to it weekly, not just by adding a grain of rice or stirring it, but by adding in and taking away actual money. Have an extra $20? Fold it toward you and add it to your bowl. Next week, take it out and replace it with something else. It’s about the flow of money. Money comes and goes as we earn and spend, and so should your money bowl. It shows faith in the process and aligns with the natural movement of money.

As money goes out, show gratitude for what it allowed you to do and as more comes into your life, give thanks. Leaning into the circulation, will not only keep your bowl alive, but also contribute to flow in which you’re trying to cultivate.

Also thanks to everyone who sent photos! It was really fun to learn what everyone put in their bowls.

🫶 Overheard in Session

Who you were then, is not the same person as you are today! Take pride in your growth and wear it like a badge of honor.

“You can’t be something you’re not.” - Pantera 🤍

💁‍♀️ Story Time:

How TF are you supposed to trust yourself when your track record is anything less than perfect? And yes, I’m talking about men and relationships today. Let’s take a look:

First, there was Jeremy. I loveedddd him, but he was covered in tattoos and worked as a piercer/tattoo artist—a big no-no in my Greek/Italian household. Every day I would come home and my mom would check to see if I’d ‘gotten any ink’. We had amazing chemistry, and while we always stayed in touch, with a promise of one day, he… died. (I know, it’s not funny, but why did I giggle when I typed that!) Pretty sure he set the precedent for my attraction to average looking beef cakes with beards and tattoos (in case you were wondering about my origin story).

beef·cake | \ ˈbēf-ˌkāk | noun
a man with a large, well-developed physique; a muscular and attractive man.

My Muslim boyfriend entered around 2003/4 and remains my longest relationship to date. Everyone loved him and does to this day. How do I know? Because one of my best friends still hangs out with him. My mom will randomly say “I miss xxx!” to which I usually reply, “then you should date him”. But after almost six years together I was done. I’d only met his family ONCE as they found our relationship unacceptable. He told me time and time again that he was protecting me from his family, because in no way would they support him dating a Christian girl. Apparently, after our breakup, his mom said, “I see how sad you are, you can marry her now.” TOO LATE LADY.

After that, I had no interest in a boyfriend. I craved big city lights and late nights out, which is when my first sneaky link entered the chat. The sex was good, and after six months it started to morph into a bit of a relationship. That is, until we got snowed in together for two or three days and parted ways for good.

Which made me realize: I did want a relationship. There I was late, the Coach House in Schaumburg, when a handsome Greek man approached me. By 4 AM he was offering to drive me home. My friends convinced me I’d be fine since they’d taken a blurry photo of his driver’s license—that way, if anything happened, at least they’d know who my murderer was. We made out in my parents’ driveway until the sun came up on Thanksgiving morning. I thought, ‘this is it!’ I’ve finally met someone with the same culture and religion as me. I was convinced this was my future husband.

Spoiler: I did not marry this man. Why, you ask? Well, he was a total grump AND couldn’t get it up. It’s a tale of correlation and causation. He wasn’t taking care of his mental health, which mean his body wasn’t cooperating. And I, being the caring, understanding girlfriend (aka doormat) that I was, wanted to help and support him through it.

door·mat | \ ˈdȯr-ˌmat | noun
a person who submits or yields to others without resistance; one who allows themselves to be dominated, exploited, or treated with contempt.

There was a point where this was all I could talk about. IT literally became a full-time job and fully DICKtated our relationship. We (ahem, I) had to create the perfect conditions by setting the mood, putting on a video he liked, and contorting my body into weird positions, without a single break in movement or character, lest it all fall apart. All so I could stare at the bedside clock and count the minutes that had passed by, hoping and praying it would be over soon.

Recounting stories of this torturous cardio to my friends was the only joy I had left. If I didn’t laugh about it, I would cry, which is exactly why it had to end. My calf and forearm muscles were working overtime.

After I ended things, I turned my energy inward and really started to focus on myself. I had always been on a spiritual journey studying religion, metaphysics, and the world of esotericism, all while searching for the meaning of life. During this time I found forgiveness for someone who had hurt me in ways I didn’t think were forgivable, and with that, I started to transform.

I started showing up for myself in ways I’d never done before. Weight melted off my body and I started working out. I was making better choices and honoring my needs. For the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I found love for myself. I know it may sound crazy, but when you hate yourself or think you’re unworthy, it impacts everything you do and every decision you make. You give bits and pieces of yourself away to everyone else around you, until there’s nothing left. Until you become a shell of a person.

I was in such a happy, confident space, that I ended up approaching another Greek in 2016. He was great, except for the fact that he was horrible with money and had no drive (lol). I really know how to pick ‘em, right?! I thought, another Greek. This time, must be THE time, I just have to help him. News flash: no one should ever think they can fix someone. It’s not your project to take on. It only breeds resentment from both side. Word on the street is, nothing much has changed. Another bullet dodged.

At this point I was done. No more boyfriends. I needed a break. So I poured back into myself. I started traveling more, spending time with people who lifted me up, and even enrolled in my first healing course. For years, I’d been told I was destined to be a great healer, but I’d never fully believed it. ME? The party girl who can’t find a husband was destined be a great healer?

That’s when I started having THE BEST sex of my life! Probably because that’s exactly what it was: just sex. And since we were just having fun, there was no pressure to show up, perform, or fix anything. It was the first time in my life that I’d really just enjoyed a no-strings-attached relationship. Well, that was until I said those three little words, while straddling and gazing deep into his eyes. Somehow, I’d fallen in love with my sneaky link.

sneaky link | \ ˈsnē-kē ˈliŋk | noun
(slang) a person with whom one has a secret or undisclosed sexual or romantic encounter.

This, was NOT supposed to happen. In no world were we meant to be together, but the sex was unlike anything I’d ever (have ever) experienced. So we kept going back and it kept getting more tangled. Now feelings were involved, which added a level of complication neither of us ever expected. It made me realize just how primal we are as a species. If the sex is good enough, it’ll make you do crazy things… like texting him a few months ago to see if he wanted to start hooking up again 🙃 And then questioning if he’s the person I was meant to be with all along. (Don’t judge me! Plus, he said no).

While we were going through this on-again-off-again sex-capade, because now he wanted a relationship and I didn’t, I started see that Clown Baby I’d told you about. And shit got messyyyyy. I was still having sex with the best sex of my life while going out on dates with the clown, when TBSOML saw a text from the clown and everything blew up.

This is exactly why I don’t lie or keep secrets anymore. It doesn’t serve anyone and makes every situation infinitely more complicated than it needs to be! Did the clown find out? No. Was I ever going to tell him? Also, no. That is, unless he stalks this blog, which I suspect he might.

Hope you enjoyed this comprehensive list of all my ex boyfriends, that you didn’t ask for. I spent at least a year dating and eventually breaking up with all of these me. Throughout all of it, I’ve had the words of my mother ringing in my ears: “Why can’t you just find someone?” “Maybe you’re just too picky.” “Why is it so hard?” Hmm, well, maybe because it’s taken me 40 years to finally know my worth. Through when I look back I’m reminded that on some level I did know my worth.

Which leads me to my original question, how tf do I know I can trust myself? Because I’ve done the work, self-reflection, and healing. I love myself more than any man ever will! And I’m so happy being alone, that someone has to add to it.

If this resonated with you, tap the ❤️ so more people can find this message.

🔮 Oracle Insights:

The Universe wants you to stop white-knuckling your life. You’ve been micromanaging every outcome, trying to force things into the shape you think they’re supposed to be in. The invitation right now is to surrender. Not in a give-up kind of way, but in a I trust that something bigger is moving on my behalf kind of way. Loosen the grip. Let life breathe.

And while you’re surrendering, know this: you’re also being called to lead. Stop waiting for someone else to go first. Stop looking around for permission. The path you’re craving doesn’t exist yet because YOU haven’t built it. Be the leader you’ve been waiting for. Trust, and then take the damn step.