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In today’s mix of magic + musings: Upcoming events, 🪄 a spell to alchemize the energy, 🫶 Client Corner, 💁‍♀️ Story Time from me, + 💕 things I’m loving right now.

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🌑 Upcoming Event: New Moon in Taurus Experience

As we move into the Full Moon, we’re called back into the body and invited to gently let go of what’s no longer serving us. The days leading up to a full moon are a natural window of illumination, so we can finally see our shadows clearly and release them with love.

​Join me for an evening of ritual and restoration. We’ll begin with a short breathwork practice to settle the nervous system, then move into a cacao ceremony to set intentions around what you’re ready to release. From there, we’ll ease into gentle yoga movement to ground your intentions into the body before lying down for a sound healing. As the sound washes over the room, you’ll receive hands-on Reiki from your truly, along with my friend and Reiki Master, Lauren. We’ll close the evening together with a moment of integration so you leave feeling clear, held, and grounded.

And of course, there will also be a goodie bag (because you know I love to make things extra special). This is an intimate gathering limited to 20 guests.

Get your ticket now on Luma!

🪄 Alchemize the Energy: 1st of the Month Abundance Ritual

Today’s October 1st, so it’s time to bless you home with abundance!

This ritual is very simple and should be done on the 1st of every month. All you’ll need is some cinnamon (or a stick if you have cats, because cinnamon can be fatal to them). Stand outside your front door, facing inward, with the door open. Pour some cinnamon into your dominant hand then take a deep breath and channel the frequency of abundance with your intention (yes, it’s that easy). Take a deep breath then blow the cinnamon across the threshold of your home, through the front door. That’s it!

If you end up using a stick, just be sure to pick up the stick when you’re done.

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🫶 Overheard in Session

"You are the only person that holds onto the memories and the stories in the way that you've written them, which means that you can rewrite them. I could look at my past and say I'm a victim. But instead, I take the empowerment. I was someone who didn't know any better. I was someone who hadn't learned their lessons yet. You don't have to judge your past the way you've been judging it. You can look at it from a lens of wisdom and growth, and in that lens, the history starts to rewrite itself."

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💁‍♀️ Story Time:

A few weeks ago I had a bit of a menti-b. I realize now it was nothing more than an adult temper tantrum. Why? Because life isn’t panning out the way I thought it would. Now that I’m an entrepreneur or solopreneur, if you will, I have to create content because it’s the number one way to market myself.

menty b \ ˈmen-tē ˈbē \ noun, slang

1 : a mental breakdown; a sudden episode of acute mental or emotional collapse, severe distress, or overwhelming stress.

2 : a period of intense burnout, anxiety, or emotional exhaustion, often referred to in a lighthearted or self-deprecating manner.

I had grand illusions that after leaving the corporate world and working on clients, my books would be jam packed with referrals and I wouldn’t need to advertise, let along market myself or my business. Boy was I wrong. Being in a service based industry is not all sunshine and roses. You constantly have to stay at the forefront of people’s minds, which requires constant creation.

My friend Drew warned me this might happen. As a fellow entrepreneur, he created the perfect infrastructure—his website, branding, product line, excellent customer experience—but the sales we’re rolling in. People simply didn’t know about the brand, because even the most flawless curation requires marketing.

Instead of stepping full time into a role as a Healer, I’ve somehow also become a content creator. I’ll give you one guess as to what I don’t like doing… if you said making videos, then you get 50 gold stars.

I now have to market the absolute shit out of myself, because the era of social media is dead. We’ve now entered a time of interest media, which has become fully saturated by hundreds of thousands of creators all vying for YOUR attention. And I’m sure you know how good your attention span is now a days. Helloooo ADD. Guilty, as charged.

So there I am. Weeping hysterically on the sofa, making my way through an entire box of tissues, questioning all of my life decisions. Who was I to think I could find success working for myself? Did I even believe in my work anymore? Am I even a good healer? Do I even know what I’m doing? What if I fail? Does that mean I’m not actually a Healer? Maybe my mom was right and I should have married that guy from my 20s and had a baby? The racing thoughts wouldn’t stop. I cried and I cried and I cried. Slipping deeper and deeper into a pit of despair.

Much to my surprise the days following were light and almost carefree. A stark contrast from the pain and agony I had just experienced. None of it made sense. Was I just sad? Then it hit me. I was having a full blown adult temper tantrum AKA an ego death.

Do I like creating content? No. I don’t think I’m good at it, which introduces a whole new disconnect: perception vs. reality. I perceive myself very different than to how I show up on camera. Not just in the way I talk or express my thoughts, but physically too. Being in your 40s is hard. My face and body are definitely changing and honestly, I don’t have the stamina, let alone the time, to keep up with it.

Every photo and video is a reflection of self I don’t always like or want to see. The sagging jowls that have recently started to appear around my mouth and the prominent 11 lines, which tell a story of stress and frustration. My jaw that moves slightly to one side when I talk. The loose skin on my arms from the days when I was severely overweight, due to unprocessed trauma in my body. I used to be able to ignore all of this, but now my flaws and imperfections are staring me in the face 1-3 times a day.

Talk about a lesson in acceptance. If I want to be the best, I have to be willing to release an old, outdated version of Christina. I have to find ways to push through the fear and uncomfort thoughts because the purpose is bigger than me. None of this is actually about me.

My mission is to support and hold space for women as they reclaim their personal power. By guiding them back to their authentic selves, so they can heal old wounds and step into their true purpose. Because when a woman heals and thrives, her renewed energy radiates outward and touches everyone around her. Women are divine nurturers, who give so much of themselves and their hearts to the world. They deserve to receive that same love and support in return.

Instead of weeping in a pool of my own sorrows, I need to rise to the occasion. I survived cancer, yet I’m crying about making a stupid tiktok. This truly is a lesson in accepting your fate when it’s handed to you. I’m an incredible manifestor and now that I’ve actually manifested my dream life I can’t let my limiting beliefs, my fears, and my doubts take over.

It’s amazing how intimidating life can be when the thing you desire most, actually shows up. If you ever find yourself recoiling from your dreams, take this as a sign to reflect. Grab pen and paper and write those thoughts and feelings down or find some solace and meditate. This isn’t about rumination, this is about digging into your emotions to understand the root of your fears.

The opportunity I’ve always sought—to truly elevate and empower women—is finally here. Now it’s time for me to show up and answer the call. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do!

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If this resonated, tap the ❤️ below so more people can find this message.

💕 What I’m loving right now:

This month’s Heal Everything Book Club pick: In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine

Tiny pan, perfect for making eggs: Stainless Steel 5.5 inch Mini Frying Pan

✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

Chellloooo!

September officially marks the 1 year mark for this blog. I honestly can’t believe I spent over a year sharing so much of my life with you. Thank you for making this such a safe space. I had no idea how people would respond to my life stories and it’s been welcomed with open arms. Each comment, text, or message touches my heart in ways I can’t even begin to put into words.

As I move into the next season of life (and business) I wanted to check in with my amazing community to see what you’d like to hear/read more of. Would you mind taking a moment to answer the questions below? I want to make content you ACTUALLY want to binge.

I promiseee it will only take a minute, maybe 2 max.

If you listen to the audios…

If there’s anything else you think I should know drop a comment below. I love receiving feedback! This blog is for YOU and I want to give the people what they want.

XO,
C

PS THANK YOUUUUU

✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

💁‍♀️ Story Time:

I hosted an Intuition Class Tuesday night and it was absolutely incredible! 19 women joined to learn 3 different methods to help strengthen their trust in self. I almost couldn’t believe that a group of mostly strangers decided to put their faith in ME to teach them how to connect in with themselves.

I never know how I’m going to be perceived by others. It’s baggage I’ve carried around for most of my life, because of how I let people treat me. Always one to shy away from confrontation, I’ve unintentionally been the doormat, the scapegoat, and the one who triggers things and/or feelings people don’t like about themselves or their lives.

But then again, why not me? As someone who once shied away from using her voice, I love sharing everything I’ve learned. When you trust yourself, life gets better. You become more confident in who you are and the decisions you make. Manifestations also come flooding in as if out of nowhere. The benefits are truly invaluable.

In our short time together, these beautiful women could feel my authenticity. I didn’t have to prove anything to them because of the energy I brought to the class. I was teaching from a place of alignment, and it felt so fucking good! I floated away from that night on a cloud, feeling an unfamiliar sense of pride for myself. It’s an emotion I typically shy away from because over the years I was conditioned to conflate it with being superior.

At one point, two of the women told me, “We weren’t sure about you, but you’re the real deal!” and I said, “Hell yeah I am!” I never had that much confidence and conviction in myself when I was living out of alignment.

There’s a lot of bravery in being vulnerable with a stranger and admitting you need help. Yet this group of women chose to spend their Tuesday night with me doing just that. They decided to sign up for this kind of weird, seemingly woo-woo class (that’s actually backed by science), and each one learned something new.

Ngl, that was my biggest fear: that someone wouldn’t be able to get past the mental block of trusting themselves. But they all did! It’s like a metaphor for life. How often do we feel like we can’t do something and then simply give up? Sometimes we just need to try a different method, settle ourselves down, or change up the energy so that we’re thinking or moving differently.

That’s exactly what happened with these women. Each one gave themselves permission to let their guards down. Each one decided to show up for themselves. And each one came out on top!

As the night went on, woman after woman privately approached me to share their story and ask for help. I identify so deeply with the desire to heal your wounds and connect in with yourself. On some level you know a world of possibilities is waiting for you on the other side, and that desire to improve, once you get started, becomes infectious.

I have people in my life that are terrified to heal themselves, let alone admit they have a problem. One ex-boyfriend used to say, “Why would I ever want to heal? I’m fine the way I am.” He was not. But this is part of the human experience. To find the humility to admit you need help. Then loving yourself so deeply that you can’t help but take action to better yourself.

I feel so grateful, so excited, so energized by the opportunity to hold space for such a powerful group of people. To know this class was so well received, means everything to me. I love giving back to women, the nurturers, who naturally give so much of themselves to everyone else. It was an honor to get to know each and every one of them.

This class is all the proof I need to start building more community around helping people show up at their absolute best. Because that’s what I’m here to do. And I can change their lives.

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I’m already planning my next event for October (it includes sound, the moon, + live Reiki healing)! Subscribe to my Luma page to receive updates on upcoming events

🪄 Alchemize YOUR Energy: Cards of Destiny Report

A few months back my mentor gave me a Cards of Destiny Yearly Report and when I tell you THE ACCURACYYYY is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It doesn’t make any sense.

Every day of the year is associated with a different playing card, in a deck of cards. For example, I’m a 6 ♣️ = The Card of Higher Purpose. Let me just read you the first paragraph…

This card is known as the Psychic card and it is surprising to see how few of the people of these birthdates are aware of their gift. The Six of Clubs also means responsibility to truth. These people must learn to find a system of truth that they can believe in and live their life by. Once attained, there is no limit to how much good these people can do in the world.

THAT’S ME. But the report doesn’t just stop here. It’s huge—like will take you a minute to read through the entire thing huge, as it breaks down your entire year. Each card in the reading says something about a specific area of your life. The beginning of the report opens up with the cards that cover your entire year. This includes:

The Long Range Card signifies what or whom is a major focus of your attention. The Pluto card identifies something or someone who is challenging to you during this year. The Results Card represents a blessing that occurs as the year draws to a close. The Displacement Card (only some reports have) signifies where you must put your energy to achieve more positive results in your life. And lastly, The Environment Card (appears in most reports) represents a helpful positive influence in your life this year.

Then it goes in to my favorite part… Your Yearly Spread! This breaks your year out into 52 day chunks, identifying all major events during each period. Here’s a peak of my overview (each chunk is followed up with a 1 page explanation:

My Saturn period just ended (and Thank God). Just as the report predicted, this was the toughest part of the year for me as I had a lot of challenges around worth, scarcity, an childhood wounds around love. It urged me to go inward and release what no longer serves me, clearing the way for my hard work to pay off now that I’ve entered “The Breakthrough” period.

It’s so informative, that I bought the software! It truly is unlike anything I’ve ever read about myself. My coach Tish is using hers as her business plan (which is a phenomenal idea). I keep an outline of the year at my desk to help keep me grounded in reality. I check it at the beginning/end of each 52 day chunk. Right now I have:

10♦️ which brings financial success from Psychic and spiritual work along with unexpected sources. LET’S GO BABYYYY

You don’t have to buy the report, but I definitely think you should buy the report. Message me if you have questions (because it’s crazyyyy accurate!)

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✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

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In today’s mix of magic + musings: Upcoming ⚡️ Energy Update + 🪄 a spell to help alchemize. Followed by 🫶 Client Corner, 💁‍♀️ Story Time from me, 🔮 Oracle Insights from the heavens, 💕 things I’m loving right now.

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⚡️ Week of Sept 10 Energy Update:

How’s everyone feeling after the last eclipse? Ngl that energy was dragging me down. Yesterday was the 9/9 Portal, which closed out old patterns and karmic cycles that needed to be released. The timing of the 9/9 Portal, couldn’t have been more perfect with today’s New Moon. The energy just feels different. It’s a wonderful balance of neutrality and calm to plant seeds for the future.

🌝 New Moon in Virgo on Sept 10

If you know any Virgo’s then you know they’re organized, great at solving problems, and working hard. Today’s New Moon is bringing that energy to life so you can ground your dreams into reality. It’s time to rise to your potential and see your worth. This New Moon is encouraging you to make small, yet impactful changes to your daily habits. This isn’t about being perfect, it’s about making lasting, realistic improvements in your everyday life.

Turn inward and ask yourself: What do I actually need to find/maintain happiness/success as I move into fall?

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🪄 Alchemize the Energy: Quick Bay Leaf Burn

This New Moon is exceptionally good time to manifest!

According to Scott Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs: wishes are written on bay leaves which are then burned to make them come true and a bay leaf held in the mouth wards off bad luck.

Let’s do just that! Take a moment to ground your energy and center yourself in your heart. Then ask yourself the question above: What do I actually need to find/maintain happiness/success as I move into fall?

Distill the answer down to one word and write it on the bay leaf with a marker (ex: focus, clarity, happiness, drive, grounding). Then light the leaf on fire and drop it into a fire safe bowl.

And so it is.

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💁‍♀️ Story Time:

Forewarning, I was in a very dark place when I wrote this yesterday. My overwhelming sadness brought me back to an old version of Christina, a version I’d rather forget. Every so often these intrusive thoughts comes flooding back into my mind like a titlewave, demolishing every last ounce of happiness and optimism. The devastation is so great that I withdraw and isolate like a sick animal.

I think it’s important to share the ugly, shameful side. The side of me that I’d rather not discuss, because it’s real. I may be a healer who can chanel angels, but I’m also a human, who’s struggled immensely and had a very hard life. So in the spirit of transparency… here’s my reality.

I’m really struggling today. I keep asking myself: what is this all for? I’ve been working so hard the past 18 months, but sometimes it feels so fruitless. I thought by now I’d have a full roster of clients and a waiting list so long that’d I’d be forced to raise my prices, hire an assistant, and go global.

I was sure I’d change every client’s life so dramatically that they’d have no choice but to tell every single person they met, just how impactful energy healing was. But maybe I’m not as good as I think I am. Maybe I’m not meant to be a healer. Maybe I’ve been living in a fantasy land somewhere at the crossroads of confidence and delusion.

Working for yourself can be alienating sometimes a lot of the time. I’ve been conditioned from a young age to put on a happy face, pretending everything’s fine day in and day out. Convinced I’ll figure it all out and at some point the puzzle pieces will fall into place, but they’re not. And I don’t know if they ever will.

It’s so hard to stay motivated. Some Most days I want to throw my hands up in the air and give up. I”m jealous of the people who are happy living conventional lives. Who wake up, go to work, then go home without a care in the world. Leaving the pressure of the day behind, not giving it second thought until 8AM when they clock back in.

I’m jealous of the people who have families and partners with whom they can share their life and accomplishments with. I just constantly w so behind. Each day, I get older and realize just how alone I am. I watch the life I’ve always wanted get farther and farther away with each passing minute.

Everyday I continue to show up. I put on a big happy face and do the work— churning out content, meeting new people, learning new things—but for what? I’m tired of being an inspiration. I’m tired of people telling me they’re so proud of me and “to keep going” because I feel like a fraud. I’m tired of being the strong, resilient one who’s able to do everything. For once I just want to be held, cradled, and doted on.

On days like this, I can’t seem to remember the purpose, my WHY for doing any of this. Being an solopreneur is so hard. No one’s here to help me with the work I can’t or don’t want to do. No one’s here to lean on when I’m sad or stressed or overwhelmed. No one’s here, but me and I’m tired of me. Today, I don’t even like or want to be around me.

I hate to admit it, but the isolation and pressure has finally gotten to me. I’m so afraid to lose it all, yet I’m ready to throw in the towel and quit it all. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore and today I definitely don’t know what it’s all for. I can’t shake this nagging voice that I’m an utter failure. I hate that I’m living this very human experience and questioning my worth. This is the kind of day I want to fast forward through and erase from my memory.

The reality is I’m lonely. I’m surrounded by friends and people who love me, yet I’m still so alone. I miss affection and physical touch so much that I can barely remember the sensation of it. I, the natural nurturer, lover, and mushball, never thought I’d be single at 42, with zero prospects. I never wanted children, but each day it feels like that choice is being taken away from me and soon the option will be removed entirely. Is this going to be the biggest regret of my life?

I’m acutely aware of how far behind I am compared to my friends and I don’t know how to catch up. When do things get easier? When will I finally catch a break? Life has been so difficult. I convinced myself I’d front loaded my karma and the second half of life would be sunshine and roses, but it’s not. Instead it continues to humble me day in and day out with no reprieve insight.

Voices from my past continue to haunt me. Maybe all the things I’ve been told are true? Maybe I am too picky? Maybe I am too broken? Maybe I am just too hard to love?

Maybe… I don’t actually know what I’m doing.

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🔮 Oracle Insights:

This week’s card pull comes from the Mystic Shaman Oracle Deck

The Child knows the way to joy and happiness, offering a second innocence — one born of wisdom, not naiveté. This card invites you to release the habit of being yourself and see your life, your partner, even your own reflection with fresh eyes. Become a mystery unto yourself again. Set yourself free from your conditioning for suffering; you were born unfettered and happy, and can be so again if you make the choice right now. The Child will help you correct your course, recover your sense of play, and reconnect with childlike wonder.

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✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

Subscribe to get your daily dose of real stories, cosmic vibes, and a little magic you didn’t know you needed! 💫

✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

In today’s mix of magic + musings: 🪄 A spell to help alchemize the current energy. Followed by 🫶 Client Corner, 💁‍♀️ Story Time from me, + 🔮 Oracle Insights from the heavens.

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🪄 Alchemize the Energy: 9/9 Portal Ritual

This upcoming Wednesday, September 9th is known as the 9/9 portal. In numerology, 9 represents completion and the end of a cycle, carrying with it universal love and wisdom for all lessons learned during this time.

I’m sharing 2 different rituals this week, one for the more logical/masculine readers and another for the emotional/feminine

9x9 Subconscious Shift (adapted from Tesla’s 3x6x9 Method)

To do this ritual, create a positive affirmation written in the present tense, as if it were already true

Ex: Everything is working out in my favor.

On the morning of the 9th, write your affirmation out 9x. As you write, focus your energy on the words being written. Feel into your affirmation with the belief and knowledge that this is true for you.

Repeat every morning for the next 9 days (ending on the 17th).

Floral Bath Renewal (adapted from baños espirituales)

This ritual is perfect for a fresh start and will clear out any stagnant energy from your home. You’ll need a bowl of water and 9 whole flower heads.

Ex: roses for love and healing, marigolds for happiness, or any white flower for peace and harmony

On the morning of the 9th, fill a bowl with clean water with the intention to bring in clarity and absorb any negativity in yourself or space. Then place each flower head onto the surface of the water and name a positive feeling or emotion you want to call into your life.

Ex: love, harmony, overflow, fulfillment, alignment, happiness, serenity, confidence, + gratitude

Once completed, place the bowl in a prominent, high traffic area of your home. The following morning, thank the water and flowers for clearing your space. Return them back to the Earth, so she may alchemize all of this back into new, fresh, clean energy.

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🫶 Overheard in Session

“The memories we have of the past are only ours. We can choose how we want to remember them. When we have these moments of healing our past selves, we choose now, in this moment, to let the story be rewritten for the future.”

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💁‍♀️ Story Time:

Ever since I returned from the ever expansive and magical Mt. Shasta I’ve been totally plugged in. My ability to read people and situations has been next level, which was my goal, but now that I’m here it’s made me a lot more sensitive (if that’s even possible). I can feel so much from the people around me that I’m starting to take a lot of it personally.

As you’ve heard me say before, we’re all mirrors of each other. Want to know where you’re feeling inadequate or insecure? Simply look to areas of your life that elicit negative emotional responses. Like the friend who always tries to one up you or the brown nosing coworker who insists on micromanage your work. Each illuminate areas in your life that still need focus and healing.

If you want to get really spicy, look closer to home at points of tension with family members or your spouse. What about their behavior shows you hidden or denied parts of yourself? I’m sure it won’t take long for any unresolved wounds or triggers to come flooding to the surface. For example, I hate how hypercritical my mother is of me, but that’s because I’ve adopted a need for perfectionism in my own life as a mechanism of control to protect myself from feeling vulnerable.

Before this trip I had to concentrate my energy and focus in order to fully feel into dense energies, but now it’s right in my face. Each insecurity, trigger, or unresolved wound from the people around me now cuts like a dagger. It’s gone from speculation to glaringly obvious and it’s a fucking bummer. I’m unintentionally mirroring back even more to the people around me (or maybe it’s just that I’m noticing it more) and it’s causing me to recoil and shut down.

You see, it’s kind of like reading people’s minds (not that I can, nor would I want to do that). While I can’t hear another person’s thoughts, I can feel into everything unsaid—revealing a person’s insecurities, blame, or shame. I know before someone’s even opened their mouth if they’re hiding behind a negative emotion or even worse, authenticity.

It’s the need for performance and fakeness that’s really been bringing me down. I can’t force someone to change or see themselves for who they really are, so I have to go along with the charade and pretend everything is fine. But as someone who’s recently learned to love herself, flaws and all, I want this for everyone!

On some level, I’ve always known part of my role in this lifetime is to act as a mirror to others. Since as far back as I can remember I made people upset by speaking from a place of honesty. I would, without thinking, say something unfavorable or unpalatable and find myself in the middle of a crossfire— utterly confused as to how I got there. The older I got, the more I learned to stray away from honesty, because people are not always ready to face the truth.

Even in silence I’m still a mirror. It’s a thankless job that leaves me feeling like shit. At least before I could kind of pretend it wasn’t happening by putting my head in the sand, but now I can’t ignore it. I know there must be a purpose to this development, but I’m struggling to go through the integration phase.

Maybe that’s why all my romantic relationships have failed. I have high expectations for myself and thus high expectations for my partners. I see the potential and push them towards greatness by holding them accountable. But people don’t want to be held accountable. And they definitely don’t always want to accomplish what they set out to do.

There are some positives though. I’ve done a handful of sessions since being back and I’m more psychic than ever. I used to have to pause and focus, but now answers are crystal clear and information comes flooding in faster than I can speak. I know things about people I’ve never even heard of. Each time I relay a detail of someone’s life it’s validation for the person receiving it. A reminder they can trust me and the guidance that’s coming through. It sinks them deeper into a sense of safety, which allows the healing to release even more.

A goal of mine has been to develop my skills as a medium and that’s also been flourishing. Giving someone a message from heaven is such a gift and something I personally chased, after my father passed away. I needed closure and confirmation from my best friend who suddenly vanished from my physical life (he still visits though ;)).

Believe it or not, I’m really good at getting in my own way and second guessing myself. Admitting I’m psychic has been a lesson in blindly trusting myself and my intuition, which is SO HARD for me to do. I grew up in an environment where I was taught psychics were evil tricksters working for the devil. It never made sense to me though. How could a gift so beautiful be anything less than love and light? Up until recently I wasn’t even able to call myself a psychic.

Now that I’m finally here it feels surreal. Which leads me to my next party trick. If I so much as think of someone, even for a split second, they’re on my phone or in my face within an hour. It’s like I have an etheric pager beeping everyone 911 or 424 (the code for call me back).

This is all part of the spiritual ascension process and something I’ve prayed for deeply ever since I started living in purpose. As we continue expanding our conscious awareness by healing emotional wounds, we begin to embody our soul’s highest expression and essence. Now that it’s here and happening in real time, I’m struggling to accept the thing I’ve always wanted. Being a human is such a trip. And to believe, people think God doesn’t have a sense of humor.

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🔮 Oracle Insights:

Something is currently being activated with you and life is asking you to slow down enough for you to receive it. Try not to look at difficult times as ‘getting it wrong’—instead, see them as opportunities for soul growth. Treat this time as scared by taking things slow. Let your body and your days catch up to what’s shifting with in you. Right now the lesson is integration.

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✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

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✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

In today’s mix of magic + musings: Upcoming ⚡️ Energy Update + 🪄 a ritual to help alchemize. Followed by 🫶 Client Corner + 💁‍♀️ Story Time from me

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⚡️ Week of August 27th Energy Update:

🌕 Partial Lunar Eclipse Full Sturgeon Moon on Thurs, Aug 27 or Fri, Aug 28 (depending on your location)

This partial lunar eclipse at 4°53 Pisces is said to be the especially dramatic this year as the moon will turn a dusty, copper red. The energy of the Full Sturgeon Moon has been known to represent survival, ancient inner wisdom, and navigating deep emotional waters. Considering this one is in Pisces, emotions will be intensified, so be kind to yourself on Thursday.

You’re being asked to dissolve what no longer serves your spiritual growth. So let that shit go!

🔎 Mercury Cazimi Thurs, Aug 27

We’re also having a Mercury cazimi at 4°27 Virgo that same day (FUN!), which will provide a bit of clarity as you traverse those murky emotional waters.

Jupiter Trine Saturn Rx on Mon, Aug 31

Jupiter (13°41 Leo) trines Saturn retrograde (13°41 Aries) giving you a beautiful balance of expansion and discipline. Monday’s the perfect day to build something lasting.

Mars Square Saturn Rx on Tue, Sept 1st

Mars (13°39 Cancer) squares Saturn retrograde (13°39 Aries) causing some frustration around blocked action. Patience and strategy are key on Tuesday.

Want the whole cosmic year in your pocket? Subscribe to my free Cosmic Events calendar — every moon, eclipse, retrograde + more, auto-updating all year so you always know what’s happening in the sky and how to work with the energy 💫

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→ Apple + Outlook calendar click HERE ←

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🪄 Alchemize the Energy: Mirrored Shadow Work

I’ve been thinking a lot about shadow work lately and there’s no better time to confront your shadow side, then during an eclipse in Pisces!

Eclipses bring hidden truths to light (perfect for getting up front and honest with yourself). Pisces rules the depths of the subconscious mind (the things we don’t always want to admit). And the Mercury Cazimi realigns you as it burns away any unconscious power you’ve been giving away.

💎 You’ll need:

• Crystal of your choice (make sure you cleanse it first!)

  • Tiger's Eye to trust your inner strength

  • Citrine to help you step into your confidence

  • Amethyst to release what no longer serves you

• a Mirror

🪞 Instructions:

This ritual should be done right before bed.

Start by finding a quiet space where you can sit/stand/work undisturbed. While holding your crystal, take a few deep breaths, and settle into your heart. Give yourself a few minutes to calm your nervous system and allow your thoughts to settle.

Before we get to the shadow work, we must first build a safe perimeter around your energetic field. Using your intention I want you to visualize a bubble surrounding you, going 3-4 feet out in every direction. This is your safe protected space for this ritual.

Begin to look at yourself in the mirror, past your physical appearance, and hold your own gaze. This isn’t about judgement, this is about connecting into your own soul. If you’ve never done mirror work, it will feel a little weird at first, so take your time. Once you’ve moved past any uncomfortable feelings, ask yourself:

What have I been hiding behind? Are there areas of my life where I’ve been denying myself happiness, overfunctioning, or avoiding truths? What do I need to get honest with myself about?

Whatever comes up for you first is the thing your subconscious mind wants you to address. This might come in the form of a memory, thought, or feeling. Try not to overthink or supress, just allow whatever comes through to surface naturally. Remember, this isn’t about judgement, it’s about acknowledgement.

Take a deep breath, while you continue to look deeply into your own eyes, and speak the truth (outloud) of what you just discovered.

ex: I’ve been living my life for other people, instead of living it for myself, because I haven’t felt worthy of the life I always wanted. OR I’m afraid to bet on myself because I’ve been so disappointed in the past.

Hold the crystal to your chest and using your intention feel its energy pulsing into your heart chakra. This crystal is absorbing everything you just admitted and are ready to let go of. Allow it pull all of this negative energy out of your field and alchemize it into something positive for you.

Place the charged crystal under your pillow or on your nightstand then go to sleep. If you notice any dreams or visions during the night, write them down immediately. Otherwise, be sure to journal your thoughts first thing the following morning (before you get out of bed).

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🫶 Overheard in Session

My client wants a deeper relationship with her mother:

“At some point we become the parents to our parents. Unfortunately the older generations haven't always been given the tools that we've been given to express themselves, to be authentic, and to show up however they need to show up.

If you show her the way [emotionally], she will follow. She will be open. She just needs to know that it’s safe and okay from you, leading by example. That guard will fall, and she won't even realize that she's being more vulnerable, honest, and true to self. If you can support her in this moment, she will then support you in the next step where you need it."

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💁‍♀️ Story Time:

Each week I send a Note from Xtina, where I share all the shit I don’t necessarily want to put on the internet. Sometimes I go deep and other times I keep it light (which may or may not have included a topless photo). This week was all about the shadow side, because we can’t have light without dark!

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When’s the last time to connect in with the shadow side of you? You know, that unconscious hidden aspect of yourself that you’d rather not give any attention to. The part of you that’s easily triggered, angered, or overcome with negative emotions.

Carl Jung saw the shadow side as an unconscious survival mechanism specifically designed to protect the ever fragile ego. But in the spiritual world it holds a lot more weight. It’s seen as fragmented parts of your consciousness that have separated from your divine essence. The shadow side of you is the gateway to spiritual awakening and soul integration.

Throughout your spiritual journey, you’ll be challenged to collapse the illusion of separation between your physical self and the etheric world that the ego creates. It will force you to go up against unresolved emotions that cloud your judgement or restrain you from tapping into higher levels of awareness and flow state. And it will require you to gather parts and aspects of yourself that you abandoned throughout the your lifetime in order to survive.

Focusing your energy on all things light and love is great, but no matter how hard we try, we can’t neglect the shadow side. It’s a true opportunity for growth and expansion. That’s why every person in your life is a mirror. Each brings unhealed parts of YOU into YOUR conscious awareness. Giving you an opportunity to see things in a different light. Each shepherding you into a new level of evolution to breakthrough old beliefs and patterns.

You may not like this part, but the next time you get upset or frustrated with someone take a moment to reflect on why. What are they trying to teach you in this moment? What are they unconsciously illuminating for you?

I just love perspective,

C

One thing I pride myself on is my ability to see perspective. I’ve always had this uncanny gift of being able to identify why each person makes the choices and decisions they make. This is partly why I’m so good at my job. I just get people! Even if I don’t always agree with them. It’s also made me a great mediator in other people’s relationships. I see each person’s perspective clearly and am able to relay it back in a way that the other person can actually understand.

Sometimes we’re so caught up in our own feelings, that it’s hard to see outside ourselves. It’s even harder to hear what another person is saying when we’re solely focused on our own emotions. But I’m able to see through all of that. I know on a deep level what’s trying to be conveyed and where it’s rooted from.

This is probably why I love relationships so much. I LOVE talking about relationships. I could talk about them until I’m blue in the face, and then I’ll want to talk about them some more. That’s why I share so much about my past. There are clues here to the shadow side of myself, because just like everyone else, it’s wayyyy easier to analyze someone else’s relationship than you own.

Writing this blog has helped me to get outside of myself and see the true perspective of my relationships. It’s helped me heal in ways I never could have imagined. Through this blog I’ve gotten to know myself on a deeper level. Who would have thought the internet would become a safe space for me to share the horrors of my life along with all of my celebrations. I’m just soooo incredibly grateful <3

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If this resonated, tap the ❤️ below so more people can find this message.

✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

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Today’s mix of magic + musings is a short one…

I’m currently flying back from a women’s retreat in Mount Shasta, California. For the last year, I’ve been in a Radiant Expansion healing container with six other women where I’ve been working on my own personal healing and mastery. The last week has been an absolute whirlwind and I need some downtime to process and integrate everything I’ve just experienced.

If you didn’t know, Mount Shasta is a very sacred place. This 14,179 foot volcano is grounds to the Shasta, Wintu, Modoc, and Achomawi Native American tribes who revere it as a holy place and home to Creator God.

It’s also known as a fifth dimensional underground city of Telos, where the ancient survivors of Lemuria found sanctuary after fleeing when their continent collapsed and submerged into the Pacific Ocean.

But there’s so much more to this special place. It’s a hotbed of activity filled with mythical creatures, portals, UFOs, even a sasquatch or two (no joke, I saw a video of a baby sasquatch in the forest).

I’ll be sharing more soon!

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✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

After you listen drop a ♥️ below so more people can find this!

Y…

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In today’s mix of magic + musings: 🎶 Currently Playing, 💁‍♀️ Story Time from me, 🔮 Oracle Insights from the heavens, 💕 things I’m loving right now.

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🎶 Currently Playing

I listen to this EVERY MORNING when I’m brushing my teeth and making AM digestive tea. Just put it on in the background as you go about your day!

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💁‍♀️ Story Time:

For as far back as I can remember, I’ve been hard on myself. Regardless what anyone’s ever said to me, I’ve said worse. I saw hurtful comments from others as validation for my own thoughts. I picked apart every single thing about myself, but never had the strength or courage to do anything about it.

Instead of taking action, I would double down on the self-hate, which always sent me into a spiral of avoidant behavior I called hibernating. I hid from anyone and everyone, mostly because I couldn’t hide from myself.

hi·​ber·​nate | ˈhī-bər-ˌnāt | verb

to pass the winter in a torpid or resting state
to be or become inactive or dormant

I didn’t realize until recently, that my nervous system thought it was under constant attack, from none other than yours truely. I definitely remember learning about the nervous system in science class, but I think they forgot to mention the part where it pairs with crippling anxiety and depression.

It all started when I was a teenager, after my, um… let’s call it an incident, which tracks. Traumatic experiences and unprocessed emotions typically go hand in hand. What’s crazy is that I don’t really remember much pre incident. It’s almost like I blacked out and the trauma took its place.

Before this time, I think I was happy, but after, not so much. Post trauma required me to carry a lot of responsibility. As a preteen I was attempting and (obviously) failing at managing my emotions and the emotions of those around me, all while trying to keep my mouth shut. It’s like the day my abuse happened, the only words spoken were “don’t tell anyone”.

From that point forward it seemed like everyone wanted me to keep my big mouth shut. Open communication and sharing about feeling wasn’t encouraged. I was learning by example to bottle it all up and pretend everything was fine, which brings me back to hibernating.

Once my social battery had drained it’s supply, I inevitably hibernated, because I had nothing left to give, especially to myself. Being a fulltime people pleaser is fucking exhausting. You’re constantly checking in with the movements and emotions of other people. I didn’t know it at the time, but as an empath I was completed locked into other people’s frequencies.

em·​path | ˈem-ˌpath | noun

one who experiences the emotions of others
a person who has empathy for others

I think that’s partly why I couldn’t focus (along with a little thing called undiagnosed ADHD). I was so tapped into other people’s energy and emotions that I was constantly missing and forgetting things. I can’t even tell you how many times I heard the words “you have to pay attention!” come out of my mom’s mouth.

BUT I COULDN’T! I was working overtime to figure out what I needed to say, how I needed to act, or what I needed to do. I was fishing for validation wherever I could find it. Self-worth was an elusive belief available to everyone but me. I often felt the need to make a fool of myself, act out, or talk loudly so other people would know how important I was and see my value.

I was driven to overcompensate by acting like the best friend to everyone. Happily conseeding to others by disregarding my own wants and needs for fear they’d think I was greedy. I attempted to be the epitome of perfection, but was never able to keep up the facade for long enough. Without fail I would upset my friends by saying something without thinking and putting my food in my mouth.

That’s when I started moving in private, not sharing important details about myself, life, or accomplishments because I thought being proud of yourself meant you were bragging. Surely no one would want to be friends with someone who’s boastful. At least that’s what was hammered into my head.

Back then my energy levels would die faster than an old iphone after the latest update and I didn’t know how to fix it. I was so focused on everyone else around me that I couldn’t conceptualize the fact that I could heal. In my warped perception this wasn’t even in the realm of possibility, because I thought the fix was tied to my (low/no) worth and value.

I was hard on myself, for something I didn’t know how to fix.
I hated myself, for something I didn’t know how to fix.
I gave myself cancer, for something I didn’t know know how to fix.

I’m sure you can see a theme here. Like the protagonist in any compelling story, I blamed myself for simply trying to survive. I used to think I was the only one who felt this way. Not know I was unintentionally carrying the guilt of others. I spent years relentlessly beating myself up for ‘not knowing/doing/being better’.

When faced with pain, we throw internal temper tantrums for things outside of our control. Then we start pointing fingers, looking for someone else to blame, in hopes this will help sooth our emotions. But it doesn’t. It just shifts you into a toxic relationship of victim vs. scapegoat.

scapegoat | /ˈskāpˌɡōt/ | noun

A scapegoat is a person, group, or thing that is unfairly blamed for the mistakes, problems, or bad actions of others. People often use a scapegoat to hide their own faults, avoid taking responsibility, or redirect anger away from themselves.

And the bigger issue here, is that it’s generational. If my parents knew how to fix it/me, I’m sure they would have. It’s not like they wanted to see me suffer and hold back the golden ticket or keys to success. They simply didn’t know how, so I could never fault them. And when you zoom out, how much worse was the generation before them? It’s only until recently that human beings stopped acting like savages.

We don’t (and won’t) always have all the answers. And I think that’s the point. This is the game of life, where we cosplay human beings who are forced to learn and grow through varying levels of adversity. If I know anything about games, I know they’re intentionally hard—but also fun, especially when playing with people you love.

If this is a game (and I suspect it is), that means there are well thought out levels and challenges, of varying degrees of difficulty, designed to help us evolve. AKA it’s not boring. Life isn’t meant to be easy, otherwise it would be incredibly uninteresting and we wouldn’t participate.

Like it or not, life is built on lessons and the people around you will always mirror back parts and aspects of yourself that need healing. It was specifically designed this way. It’s up to you if you’re going to rise to the occasion and meet them or not.

And if you need help, call me ;)

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If this resonated, tap the ❤️ below so more people can find this message.

🔮 Oracle Insights:

What's rising now is not evidence you've gotten it wrong — it's curriculum. The wounds and conflicts that have quietly hardened your heart are surfacing so you can soften your way back to love, toward those who hurt you and most tenderly toward yourself. Your soul chose these wild swings of agony and sweetness because this is exactly how it grows. So lay it all down — the fear, the hurt, the weary vigilance — on the Great Mother's altar, and fall completely into arms that have held you since your first breath. You are not failing. You are being initiated into a life truly lived.

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💕 What I’m loving right now:

Fresh Mouth: Listerine PocketPaks Breath Strips (they’re probably not healthy, but I love ‘em)

Bug Repellant: Kate Mcleod's Bug Balm All-Natural Insect Repellent (this shit works!)

✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration

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In today’s mix of magic + musings: 🪄 a spell to help manifest for the 8/8 Lion’s Gate Portal. Followed by 💁‍♀️ Storytime + 💕 things I’m loving right now.

🪄 Alchemize: 8/8 Lion’s Gate Manifestation Grid

We have a very veryyy powerful manifestation window coming up on Saturday known as the 8/8 Lion’s Gate Portal. This is seen as the most powerful numerology portal of the year as Sirius aligns with Earth for abundance and spiritual activation. Here’s a very special spell I did last year, which has brought so much abundance into my life 🤍

You’ll need:

• Pen + paper

• Crystal wand or conductor (mine is made of selenite)

• Crystals for the grid (4 protector crystals, a generator with flat bottom, + a minimum of 12 ‘working’ crystals)

• $1000, $1200, or $1004 (in all 100s or 100s and 2, $2 bills)

• Candle + something to etch into the candle (I use a feather)

• Herbs + oils (for the candle)

Suggestions:

CRYSTALS

• Generator: clear quartz with a flat bottom

• Abundance: tibetan quartz, ruby, jade

• Protection: black tourmaline, jet, obsidian

• Transformation: snowflake obsidian, malachite, moldavite

• Life Force: ruby zoisite, carnelian, garnet

• Amplification: prehnite with epidote, rutilated quartz, clear quartz

• Manifestation: labradorite, pyrite, citrine

• Transmute Energy: smokey quartz, amethyst, ametrine

• Luck: green aventurine, merlinite, tiger’s eye

• Joy: dalmation jasper, sunstone, chrysoprase

CANDLE COLOR CORRESPONDENCE

• White: purity, spiritual truth, cleansing (substitute for any other color)

• Black: absorb negative energy, protection, banish, break hexes

• Red: vital life force, physical passion, courage, lust, immediate action

• Orange: creative inspiration, personal success, ambition, stimulation

• Yellow: mental clarity, intellect, confidence, learning, joy

• Green: physical health, financial wealth, fertility, abundance, luck

• Blue: emotional healing, peace, patience, communication, forgiveness

• Purple: psychic abilities, wisdom, spiritual power, higher consciousness

• Pink: unconditional love, friendship, emotional healing, romance, harmony

• Brown: ground scattered energy, home protection, stability, legal matters

HERBS

• Protect + Cleanse

  • Rosemary: purify, ward off negative energy, support mental clarity

  • Thyme: banish negativity, build courage, attract stability

  • Garlic: repel ill intent or unwanted spiritual residue

  • Black Pepper: absorb stagnant energy + remove negative influences

• Abundance

  • Cinnamon: accelerate manifestation, financial luck, success.

  • Basil: steady wealth, attract peace

  • Mint: invigorate energy, stimulate a fresh flow of prosperity

  • Clove: attract luck, raise vibrations, silence gossip

• Intentions

  • Bay Leaves: focus intentions, protect wishes, heightened intuition

  • Ginger: personal power, fuel vitality

  • Oregano: joy, emotional comfort, general well-being

  • Red Pepper: to speed things up

OILS

• Peace, Intuition, + Sleep

  • Lavender: tranquility, healing, inner peace, spiritual communication

  • Frankincense: meditation, clear mental fog, reveal truth, high vibration

  • Clary Sage: intuition, dreams, clarity, calm an overactive mind

• Energy, Motivation, + Happiness

  • Sweet Orange: elevate mood, joy, magnetism, welcome positive shifts

  • Peppermint: clarity, consciousness, break through heavy blocks

• Ground, Protect, + Clear

  • Tea Tree: energetic boundaries, resilience, remove negative influences

  • Eucalyptus: clear stagnant energy, emotional renewal, protect a space

  • Patchouli: ground, manifestations, draw steady financial prosperity

Instructions:

1. Gather Supplies: This spell takes a bit of prep work. Head to the bank for cash (if you don’t have it onhand). I used 10-$100 and 2-$2 bills in my spell. Choose a candle, crystals, herbs, and oils that support your intention, then make a list of why you choose each. I highly suggest writing everything down to keep you organized and focused.

   i.e. Rhodonite to reach my full potential, focus on my gifts, and to push my energy outward for the betterment of all.

2. Get in the Mood: Put on some high frequency music, settle into your heart, and set your intention. Then cleanse your space, tools and self (with whatever method you prefer)

3. Meditate + Journal: Take some time to journal out your goals. What is it you want to accomplish? Get specific and be intentional to remove any limitations you may be putting on yourself. This is spellwork. You don’t have to figure out details, you’re just focused on the end goal or result.

4. Create a Sigil: Once finished, write a clear positive statement of intent that encapsulates everything you’ve journaled. This should be a sentence long. Now remove all the vowels (Y stays) and repeating consonants.

   Ex: To step into my Divine Feminine power = T S P N M Y D V F M P W R

   With the remaining consonants, create a symbol. Take your time here and get creative. Feel the feeling of already having what you want as you work on your design. Once finished recreate on a fresh piece of paper and place under the center stone of your crystal grid.

5. Prep Your Candle: Carve your full name, birthday, sigil, and goal into the candle. Then anoint with any oils or herbs that support your spell. Whisper the intentions for each as you anoint your candle:

   Ex: Thank you clove for helping to attract good luck into my [intention]

   Make sure to hold the base of your candle with one hand and carve/anoint/run from bottom to top to attract and top to bottom to banish. Then place to the side.

6. Assemble Your Crystal Grid: Find an undisturbed spot in your home where your grid will be out of the way, as you will leave it up until the spell comes to fruition. Starting with the sigil, feel the energy of your design and intention radiating from the paper, then place it in the center of your grid. Imagine a clock around the sigil, then—with your intuition—place each of the bills down at each hour. I choose to put $2 bills at 12 and 6 o’clock. Do whatever feels right for you. Now place each ‘working’ crystal over a bill. Jot down the number placement in your notes.

7. Burn Baby Burn: Place your candle in the center of your grid, over the sigil. As it burns imagine the smoke carrying all your intentions up to the Universe. This will take around 45 minutes. Be patient with yourself and try to stay in the energy of feeling your goal coming to life. If you’re struggling, imagine a 30 second clip of how you would feel after receiving your intention. Bring all of your senses into this 30 second clip, playing it over and over in your mind, making it as real as possible.

8. Anchor: After the candle has burned down, remove and place the generator crystal in the middle over the sigil as the anchor point. Place the protector crystals at each corner of your grid (imagine a square over your clock/circle). If you have any sound instruments, now is the time to play them. Imagine the sound bringing you further into alignment with your desires, while staying focused on your intentions.

9. Activate: With your wand, tap the center/generator crystal, then tap the ‘working’ crystal at the 12 o’clock position, and then the generator crystal again. That’s 3 taps: in, out, in. You’ll then finish the 3 taps with a statement of intention:

   Ex: Thank you for bringing abundance into my life. I choose you jade to help call abundance into my career so I can earn $350k this year.

   You’re energetically tying all these crystals together into the grid. You’ll continue to do this with each one, working your way in the clockwise motion around the grid, until are are tied up. Think of closing in the energy of the grid as you make your way back to 12 o’clock.

10. Closing. After you finish with 11 o’clock, the grid is complete. Once it’s closed be sure not to touch our disturb it, until the spell comes to fruition. You may choose to play your sound instrument now 13 times (to be exact) with the intention of blessing your spell. Show gratitude for yourself and the conviction in your abilities to cast such a powerful spell!

Note: As you can see in my example, I choose to include additional supporting crystals. Add as many as you like, just continue around the ‘clock’ methodically if you choose to add more. Also, if they have points, make sure the crystals are pointed inward, toward the center crystal.

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💁‍♀️ Story Time:

When you grown up with little to no self-esteem you basically let people treat you however they want. As you can imagine, this wasn’t always the best, especially when it came to men I was interested in. Those men were a bunch of losers. I tolerated treatment that was far below what I deserved and I allowed them to treat me like absolute dog shit.

Hungry for any attention or affection I could get, I always liked the guys who showed interest in ME. If they were into me, then I was into them. This includes, but is not limited to guys: on house arrest, who had been to prison, looked like they were going to prison, drug dealers, vagrants, “artists“, musicians, bootleggers, big shots, and degenerates. Ya know, riff raff.

riff raff | ˈrif-ˌraf’ | noun

a disapproving term for people who are seen as disreputable, worthless, or of a low social class. It often refers to a crowd or group of unwanted individuals.

Like the Music Producer who pretended to be a somebody, but was really he’s just mixing free tracks downloaded off limewire in his parent’s basement. The Hardass who pretended to have money, but was broke and lazy driving around in his mom’s car acting like it was his own. Oh and the Roadie who moved with an air of importance even though he was working for free with a very shitty punk band.

Let’s not forget the vast majority who overly sexualized me. I started developing into a women around the age of 11, making me susceptible to comments and the eyes of men and boys alike from a very young age. My breasts forced me into adulthood far earlier than I was ready for it. My mother, being far more conservative than I, tried to keep me covered up and in a childlike state for as long as possible, but tween clothes—especially back in the mid ‘90s—were not made for C cups.

It was around this time I had my first sexual experience, and not because I wanted it. This unfortunate event would change the trajectory of my entire life. Already uncomfortable in my own skin, I now harbored all the pain and grief that experience brought onto my family.

Even though I’d been told over and over I’d done nothing wrong, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all my fault. My poor parents weren’t mentally prepared to deal with such a tragedy. Because… who really is? Plus, they had their own emotions to process and were doing their best to navigate this unknown territory of parenthood noone should ever be be thrust into.

It wasn’t until years later I awoke to the true perspective of it all. Parents are human, doing the best they can with the tools they’ve been given. Sometimes they lack the emotional capacity to show up for us in the ways we need it. Perhaps they lack the awareness of another way or simply don’t have the capacity to offer what is truly needed.

For me, this misalignment led to deep misunderstandings and a constant yearning for more love. I felt an unexplainable emptiness and from that point forward, I felt branded with a scarlet letter for all to see.

That’s exactly when I started gaining weight. Also known as fat or body armor, I was subconsciously gaining weight as a means for protection. I didn’t know how to properly process everything I was feeling, so I turned to food for comfort. My nervous system was also an absolute wreck, as the trauma kept my body in a constant state of unmanageable stress. I was eating my feeling to create physical protection in the form of fat (around the belly), to shield myself against the unwanted attention from men.

Ironically though, I still craved the attention of men. Talk about a mind fuck.

I felt unlovable, carrying myself like damaged goods. I couldn’t imagine how anyone would ever want someone like me, in such a fragile state, so I settled for whatever scraps of affection I could get. I was trapped in a cycle of constantly trying to prove my worth to those who were entirely unworthy. Showing up emotionally and physically to men who disregarded me, in the hopes that one of them would eventually see my true value.

Looking back, I felt as though I gained 50 lbs overnight. My weight was now a constant reminder of the trauma my body had endured. In the midst of ‘90s diet culture, my mom tried to help me regulate my extreme weight gain through methods likes of weight watchers, slim fast, and lean cuisines. When you pair that with my father’s idea of motivation-which was rooted in calling me cruel nicknames like '“tubby”—you can imagine what that did to my already fragile self-esteem.

Being a highly emotional child, their attempts at coercing me into change further reinforced my deep sense of unworthiness. By the time I entered high school I was blindly operating in a survival mode of people pleasing, over functioning, and avoiding conflict at all costs. Boundaries simply didn’t exist due to the paralyzing fear of losing people or stirring the pot. I began choosing deception over reality. Constantly feeling compelled to inflate the truth in hopes these fabrications would make protect me, while simultaneously proving my value to the world.

It’s so fucked up to reflect on now. I literally didn’t know I could have boundaries. It wasn’t even a possibility in my orbit. So of course I let guys treat me like shit. I put up with bad behavior that looked like broken promises, lies, and manipulation. A guy could blow me off for a date then text me at 11 PM and I’d be available. I once went out with a guy who’d hit on two my friends first, then turned to me after they’d turned him down.

I wish I could take 17 year old Christina by the shoulders and shake her, But that’s not what she needed. She needed love, compassion, understanding, and grace. She needed permission to make mistakes and the freedom to use her voice. She needed ME to show up and love her unconditionally.

I’m so proud of my evolution and I have healing to thank. That’s why I vulnerably share these stories. I want others to see what’s achievable when you finally connect in, love yourself fully, and get out of your own way. That’s also why I started my business, Heal Everything, because with healing I know anything and everything is possible!

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In today’s mix of magic + musings: 🫶 Client Corner, 💁‍♀️ Story Time where you’ll learn an Emotional Healing Technique, 🔮 Oracle Insights from the heavens, 💕 things I’m loving right now.

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🫶 Overheard in Session

This past week I created a very special subliminal Safe to Receive, which came through when I was working with a client. This subliminal is designed to create a sense of safety around receiving. It addresses the pattern of over protecting your energy, with affirmations that install safety, trust, and openness, so that energy, support, love, and abundance can flow in freely.

Quick tip before you listen: This track features hidden positive statements layered beneath the music. Because the words play below your conscious hearing level, your analytical mind won’t block them. It takes zero active effort from you—just press play, relax, and let the track support your new positive habits on autopilot.

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💁‍♀️ Story Time:

Healing is not for the faint of heart. It requires you to get up front and honest with yourself to uncover parts that have been hiding behind a mask of insecurities, limiting beliefs, and a vast range of emotions. I think that’s why so many people choose to opt out. Being vulnerable on a deep, intimate level while confronting the shadow side of yourself can be terrifying.

What will I uncover? What if I can’t ‘fix it’? What if I don’t like what I see? What if I find substantial evidence for my biggest fears to come true? What if everything I know and believe about myself is real and I’m just an imposter?

WHY TF DO I (we) THINK LIKE THIS ⤴

Well, I’d like to first blame the ego. Its fragility forces us to stay small in order to protect its entire existence. The ego is not your true self. It’s a temporary identity formed by a collection of labels, stories, and memories you tell yourself. Driven by fear, the ego craves control and the constant need for comparison. It is insatiable in its needs and requires constant reinforcement, which further perpetuates the negative mindset. IMO the ego’s a little bitch.

ego | /ˈēɡō/ | Noun

1. the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world

2. the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality

Next, I’d like to blame society. Since we all have ego’s it makes sense a pessimistic viewpoint has been indoctrinated into our culture. Unfortunately, I think it’s become second nature for most people to look at the glass as half empty. I grew up listening to scarcity mindset phrases like:

“It’s always something!”
“When it rains it pours!”
“Money doesn’t grow on trees!”

But if you zoom out, it makes sense. Evolutionarily, we’re constantly on the lookout for risks to our safety, which leads me to number three: survival. Long gone are the days where we have to worry about a saber tooth tiger killing us in the middle of the night, but the threat of imminent danger is so deeply ingrained into our cells and DNA that we can’t help but revert back to our primal urges, regardless of how outdated they may be.

It reminds me of how a dog circles it’s bed before settling down. They instinctually know to check for hidden creatures, by circling their spot before laying down. Even though a threat is virtually impossible on the 30th floor of a climate controlled downtown apartment, with a doorman and a pool, their biology compels them to double check, just in case.

You seeeee, it’s not our fault that we’re like this. These patterns are hard wired into our human nature and a part of who we are. But just because our internal programming naturally defaults to a negative viewpoint, doesn’t mean we need to continue running our lives on outdated software. In fact, I’d beg to argue there’s a better way!

I want you to reframe the idea of healing as something woo-woo and starting looking at it from the lense of upgrading your operating system. Each time you upgrade, you become a better more aligned version of yourself.

SIDEBAR: Let’s take a little detour and look at astrology for a moment. Every 7 years Saturn ‘squares’ or 'opposes’ aspects against its original position in your chart, while Uranus shifts into a new zodiac sign. Together these force a massive psychological growth spurt in your life. AKA a system reboot. (Not to be confused with your Saturn Return at 29, 59, + 88ish)

These planets come back around to see if you’re living in alignment. Saturn checks on your foundation, while Uranus demands liberation. They’ll shake things up when necessary and continue to do so until you either figure it out or start living in purpose. It’s givinggg 7 year itch.

Think of every 7 years as a new and improved version of you. Exhibit A:

Age 21 = Version 3.0 Age 42 = Version 6.0
Age 28 = Version 4.0 Age 49 = Version 7.0
Age 35 = Version 5.0 Age 55 = Version 8.0

This past year I entered Version 6.0. I even refer to myself as Christina 6.0 when I journal or talk to myself. This reaffirms the upgrades and acknowledges to my subconscious all the shifts I’ve made to my OS over the years. The magic happens in the shifts. Let me say that again for the people in the back: THE MAGIC HAPPENS IN THE SHIFTS.

It happens when you start getting real with yourself. Because getting real with yourself means putting the ego in its place. It means actively affirming WHY the glass is half full. It’s about finding tenderness and care for the versions of you who didn’t know any better or acted out of protection and preservation, rather than truth. It’s about loving yourself so much, that you forgive yourself for all the mistakes and limiting beliefs you let yourself hold onto so tightly.

People over complicate healing. It doesn’t have to be a full on therapy session where you rehash every childhood wound or experience. It can be much more gentle than that. It simply requires you to get vulnerable with yourself.

Simply telling yourself positive affirmations is not enough, especially if/when you don’t believe. An understanding of the emotions holding you back must first occur. You need to get to the root of the issues, before you can resolve them. It’s like finding a weed in your garden. Simply cutting the leaves off will do nothing, you have to dig it out from the root to banish it completely.

Here’s an emotional healing technique you can try with yourself in the comfort of your own home: RAIN by Michele McDonald

1. Recognize - acknowledge your emotional experience: “I feel…”

   The next time you feel triggered, notice what’s happening inside your mind and body without judgement. Use statements like “I feel…” to help to quiet the amygdala or alarm center of the brain.

2. Allow - sit with the feeling or experience
   After you’ve identified the emotion, allow yourself to feel it. There’s no need to regulate or fix, just sit with the intensity without changing it. By doing this, you’re rewriting your emotional response pattern in real time.
   If you notice a specific feeling or sensation, breath with it for a minute. The longer you sit with it, the more it will start to shift. The objective is to go towards the intensity instead of trying to repress or deny what you’re feeling (which is the typical response).

3. Investigate - ask gentle prompting questions
   Bring curiosity to your physical or emotional state. Where am I feeling this in my body? How old is this feeling? What is it trying to protect me from? What does it what me to know or is there a message attached to it?

4. Nurture - offer a clear gesture of kindness or self-compassion
   Lovingly be with the emotional experience and vulnerable parts of yourself. Be the nurturing caregiver to the experiences you’ve had, where you didn’t get the emotional support you needed. You’re building your capacity to be your own internalized parent.

You can do it! (and if you need help MESSAGE ME)

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If this resonated, tap the ❤️ below so more people can find this message.

🔮 Oracle Insights:

Open your hands. What you’re gripping so tightly — the worry, the ache, the loneliness, the fear that nothing will come to take its place — lay it down on her altar and fall back into her arms. She has been here since your first breath. Whatever you leave empty, grace will fill. And then take a run up and leap. You were never meant to wait until you were ready; you were meant to swim with the tide and find your calm inside the chaos. Let this life swing you wide in both directions — the agony and the ecstasy both — so that one day you can say, truly, that you lived.

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💕 What I’m loving right now:

Art: Deep Cut Collections Music Art

Immune Booster: My go-to when sick or feeling something come on. I prefer the liquid version, but it’s really intense, which is why I recomend the pills

✨ Book a FREE consult → Learn how healing can transform your life!

✨ Learn more about me → My journey and the heart behind Heal Everything

✨ Follow me on TikTok → For insights, healing tips, and high-vibe inspiration